38 Weeks 4 Days
Still here. Still pregnant.
Things to Avoid Saying to a Very Pregnant Woman
1. Are you still pregnant? Umm. Yes. And thanks for the reminder. Of course, if the answer is no, but I still LOOK pregnant, well, is that really a conversational corner you want to back yourself into?
2. You’re huge. What is it about pregnancy that seems to eliminate personal conversational boundaries? If you don’t want me to say any variation on “You’re fat,” don’t say it to me.
3. Hey, Mom. I am not your mother. I am more than my ability to gestate. In fact, I have an identity and a name that I have been using quite happily for over 30 years. How about referring to me by that.
4. Is it twins? This is basically a variation on “You’re huge” and you might be amazed how many total strangers feel free to ask it. It’s not so bad if the answer is “Yes,” but if the answer is “No,” look out.
5. How did you conceive twins? We did it twice in one night.
6. Do twins run in your family? Why not just come out and ask whether we used drugs? Do you share your medical information with everybody? Then don’t ask me to share mine.
7. What’s the gender(s)? This one comes up a lot in grocery stores for some reason. Do I know you? Why are you asking me questions about my life at all? Just bag the groceries. Of course, if I say “One of each” that inevitably brings on “Do twins run in your family” so I try to avoid answering. Note, if someone does answer “one of each,” don’t then ask: “Are they identical or fraternal?” because it makes you look like a moron.
8. Are you planning a natural birth? No, I was going for one of those artificial births.
9. Are you planning to breastfeed? Planning on asking for a taste?
10. Do NOT immitate the waddle. A woman at work did this and remains lucky to this day that I am not very fast any more.
Stumble it!
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July 2nd, 2006 15:57
LOVE the identical v. fraternal question. Man, some people are just idiots!
As per the “you look huge” comment… ok, admittedly I’m not far along, but I’ve received my fair share of them (seriously, why does pregnancy make people think they can say whatever they want???) my reply has been steadfastly: Yeah, but I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse.
At that point Jim drags me away.
July 2nd, 2006 23:05
While at the time it pissed me off, I admit to being nostalgic about all the unwanted attention. I also recall that the cruel irony of all that attention was that the few times I actually wanted it was when people were keeping their distance.
Like the time I was riding the subway and nobody offered me a seat. Hey, c’mon folks, I’m only 41 weeks along…
July 4th, 2006 17:56
AMEN to this list! I am 25 weeks pg with twins and can’t believe the things people say. Especially at the grocery store (where, lets be honest, a woman pg with twins spends alot of time). Seriously, does the checkout lady think I’m going to give her my fertility history?
I hope that those two babes get the hint and soon!
April 15th, 2007 11:55
This list cracked me up! I didn’t have twins but I certainly remember all the unwanted comments and attention (like strangers trying to rub your belly) when I was pregant with my kids. I could also relate to the comment that sometimes you wish people could be more caring (like giving you a seat or a hand) when they didn’t.
All my best to you,
Hueina
Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul
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