Comments on: Mourning My Section

By: Kami

Kami — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 05:54:00 +0000

Found you because of the roundup . . .
I’m sorry the birth didn’t go how you hoped it would. You still gave birth and you were wise enough to choose a cesarean when it was needed and you have every right to grieve the loss of a vaginal birth.

By: Alice

Alice — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 02:59:09 +0000

I was so out of it after mine that it didn’t occur to me to ask where Gabriel was until they brought Soren in the next morning. Until they brought Soren in, it didn’t occur to me to ask where he was either, That can’t be the natural reaction after giving birth, and it still really creeps me out that drugs could make me forget my children.

I remember Soren’s birth clearly, and holding him afterwards, but not Gabriel and the post-section. That and his NICU time made it harder to bond with him than with Soren, and I have tremendous guilt from it still.

By: geohde

geohde — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:59:59 +0000

Hi there, I’ve found your site via the Blog Round-up.

Firstly, congratulations on the little ones.

I am so sorry their mode of entry into the world was not what you desired, but, you know, at least we live in a modern age/first world where the technology for safe delivery in difficult circumstances is possible. I understand this is hardly helpful information, but I guess it’s my best ‘glass half full’ approach to the situation.

take care

By: Sara

Sara — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:16:52 +0000

I came to your post via Mad Momma’s blog via a family member’s blog and I know I’m a bit late, but I want to thank you for saying these things. Just this morning I asked my husband in the car on the way to drop off our 6 month old “do you remember when I first held C.”? You see, I don’t really remember it. I don’t remember what I said to her. I don’t know how much time passed between when she came out and when I saw her, and I don’t know what happened in between. And I hate that I can’t really remember my first moments with my first baby. I had an emergency c-section under general anesthesia two hours after I got to the hospital. C’s heartrate dropped with every contraction and wasn’t coming up. When my labor suddenly kicked into high gear I had the contraction that wouldn’t end and her heart rate stayed frighteningly low. I got wheeled out of the labor room with my butt in the air, leaving my husband completely alone with no idea of what was happening to us. Sometimes I accept it. Sometimes it makes me really sad. Sometimes is just plain pisses me off. Your post makes me feel less alone in those feelings. Thanks.

By: Adria

Adria — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:34:01 +0000

I haven’t experienced this, but my sister is dealing with the same feelings about her two births. I DID experience this fog with the first 4 months of life with the twins. Every day was a nightmare & I felt shellshocked. Then suddenly it was gone & I have never stopped wishing I could remember it just a little bit more.

By: the mad momma

the mad momma — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 13:17:32 +0000

I’m with you on this… I felt terrible about mine and have written a dozen posts on it… people tell me to get over it but I can’t… here’s just one of my posts on it.

http://themadmomma.blogspot.com/2007/03/and-we-have-time-and-date.html

I have a linky up on the right side of my blog.. would you mind posting this post on it? or may i do it? either way, do let me know. and know that you are not alone. i have my next c-sec in 5 days.

By: Korin

Korin — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 20:02:00 +0000

You are not alone. I’m actually being interviewed by our local paper regardin this very thing. I mourn it everyday, and people keep saying “enjoy your baby’… I can do both.
It’s even more hurtful to the infertile sometimes,as we had to mourn our conception also.

By: Ann

Ann — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 02:55:00 +0000

Thank you for posting this. I mourn mine too and feel guilty about it because everyone says that all that matters is a healthy child/children. And that’s true in the larger scheme of things, of course we would all have a section in a heartbeat for our children’s sake. But I have trouble telling Zoe’s birth story because I feel I have so little to offer. Zoe was born, but I don’t feel that I gave birth, if that makes sense. I definitely mourn the loss of that experience.

By: The Town Criers

The Town Criers — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 05:08:00 +0000

I think it’s part of the whole idea of lost feminisma that we were talking about. That idea of what we’re promised as women and how we redefine ourselves when it’s taken away. I’m sorry, sweetie. It sucks. Would it help to talk to the doctor? Nurses? Record as many memories from other people in an effort to jog your own and have the recording of those moments?

By: lagiulia

lagiulia — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 21:53:00 +0000

Me too. I had an emerg. section/ local anesthesia and then didn’t hold or feed either boy until 24 hrs later in the NICU. The cloudiness of it all, the separation from the experience and from my boys, honestly makes the memory of their birth day a bad one. I too mourn not having a vag birth. That is not to say that I don’t appreciate that they are here at all. I would have done anything I could to make sure they were born and thriving. Still, knowing that I will likely never have an experience I dreamed of all my life is, to say the least, disappointing.
Found you through Our Life Voyage blog. Glad I found you.