The Twinkies

Me: You know how I say that some days you are lucky to come home and find me and the twins all alive?

B: (pause) Yes.

Me: Well, this is one of those days. Do you think you could pick up dinner on the way home?

B: That is a hell of a way to introduce that topic.

The reason for the general Chinese-food-inducing misery of yesterday is that F. is sick. Or just teething. It’s hard to tell. Last night she was up hourly, crying. She is drooling even more than usual, and usual is quite a lot. Her nose is running with clear mucus almost indistinguisable from the drool. We are on bib number three for today, and I am about to retire this one. After a time of good sleep the return to frequent waking was so brutal we brought her to bed with us. Fun times, I tell you, fun times.

Ate least James isn’t sick Or teething. Or both.

Bottles are ubiquitous in children’s books. If you want a book that includes nursing, however, the pickings are slim and make you realize just how good Sandra Boynton and Eric Carle really are.

These are what I’ve found in my search for children’s books about nursing. You may notice that none of them come with a glowing recommendation.

Breastmilk Makes My Tummy Yummy The drawings are bad, and the rhymes aren’t great, but it’s a board book and it shows people nursing, including toddlers and tandem nursing.

We Like to Nurse The art looks like it was done by a talented high school student, it isn’t a board book and it features animals rather than people, except for one illustration at the end. However, it is sweet.

I’m Made of Mama’s Milk This one has photos of people nursing, but they are mostly out of focus and have that yellow tone of faded 1970’s photos. It looks like someone called her friends and said “I’m going to do a book on nursing - can you send me your snapshots!” None of her friends were professional photographers, apparently. This one was so bad I actually didn’t buy it, which given my book addiction is a pretty damning review.

I swear, I’m going to do one. It couldn’t be worse than I’m Made of Mama’s Milk.

This is, by the way, apropos of just about nothing.

I was reading an article in the New York Times Education supplement about naked college parties. The students interviewed claimed this was more in the way of a social experiment than a pick-up scene. Sure. But it brought to mind something very valuable I learned in college.

The people who seem to be compelled to take their clothes off in public are never the people you want to see naked. Dance majors show up at clothing-optional events in sweat-pants. But the guy who hasn’t left his room for days and has eaten nothing but Doritos and cheap beer for week, oh, he can’t wait to strip down.

So, please, before attending a social gathering naked ask yourself, “Would I make a good underwear model?” If the answer is ‘no’, keep your pants on. If, however, the answer is ‘yes’, be my guest and take it all off.

OK, I have been updating my blog lists to try to include people who comment here. If I have missed you, please let me know. And, of course, if you would rather NOT be listed, please let me know that too.

Today was the twins 6-month well-child visit. All is well.

Weights & Lengths (with percentiles)

J.:
Birth: 6 lbs. 8 oz. / 19″
1 Week: 6 lbs. 4 oz. / 19″
1 Month: 9 lbs. 6 oz. / 20″ (30th / 10th)
2 Months: 11 lbs. 12 oz. / 22 3/4″ (50th / 50th)
4 Months: 14 lbs. 4 oz. / 25 3/4″ (40th / 60th)
6 Months: 16 lbs. 6 oz. / 26 1/2″ (25th / 50th)

F.:
Birth: 6lbs. 13 oz. / 20″
1 Week: 6 lbs 10 oz. / 19″
1 Month: 9lbs. 1 oz. / 20″ (50th / 30th)
2 Months: 11 lbs. 10 oz. / 22 1/2″ (75th / 55th)
4 Months: 13 lbs. 12 oz. / 24 3/4″ (50th / 60th)
6 Months: 15lbs. 15 oz. / 27 1/4″ (25-50th / 90th)

She measured F. twice because her length seemed so, well, long. She really is that long.

Note that these percentiles are based on formula fed babies, not breastfed babies. The World Health Organization just came out with new charts for breastfed babies last summer, but I am far too lazy to look up the correct percentiles. In general, breastfed babies are leaner.