The Perfect Mother
Somewhere out there is the perfect mother.
She never ate bacon, or hot dogs, or bagels with lox during her pregnancy. She birthed naturally - none of this c-section or epidural stuff for her - and it was an easy labor. Or maybe it was hard but she slogged through 49 hours of back labor at home in her tub.
She put her baby right to the breast and he latched on and began to suckle, no problem. Or her baby was in the NICU and she pumped every hour for 3 months to make sure he got milk.
Her babies slept through the night at 8 weeks without a fuss. Or, she tends to their needs during the night without a complaint, even when her child is up every hour on the hour for no apparent reason. No matter how many times she has been up at night, her hair and nails are done. After all, how can you feel your best when you don’t look put together?
Obviously, she cloth diapers, makes her own baby food, uses only organics, doesn’t own a television and plans educational yet fun activities for not only her kids but for all the kids in the neighborhood.
She provides wholesome, sugar-free snacks. Kids like them.
Her house is clean. She grows prize-winning roses. She is a corporate attorney. You’re fairly sure she is working on a cure for cancer in her basement.
She might be related to you. She may be your mother. She may even be you, but she sure isn’t me.
Stumble it!
Donate to the Zoë and Lennox Simpson Memorial Fund
and the 529 college savings accounts get a kickback.
March 13th, 2007 13:16
Hey, if you find this chick, will you have her drop by my place and prune the raspberries? Should have been done a month ago . . .
March 13th, 2007 14:15
she sounds scary Besides, you lost me at hot dogs.
March 13th, 2007 16:49
Not me either!
By the way, loved loved loved the breastfeeding post. That’s the only one I seem not to be able to comment on now: I click on “comments” and the screen goes all weird and gives me a comment box but no other stuff, and it is possible I have in fact left my comment ten times in a row. Anyway, I’ll say here that it was great, and that I totally agree. I have several friends and relatives who stopped breastfeeding because “He was nursing every hour and a half so I knew I didn’t have enough milk for him” or “I tried the pump and only got an ounce so I knew my milk never came in.” I think that when there is a strong push to do something, there needs to be the same strength in the support.
March 14th, 2007 05:05
Not one of us is the “perfect” mother. It stresses me out trying to be at least a decent mother, (and I only try for that every OTHER day!). It’s the competition between us as women and mothers that makes it all crazy. Besides I know that the “perfect” mom for someone else’s kid, would NOT be perfect for mine.
March 14th, 2007 05:31
You lost me at hot dogs too! And bacon. And makeup. And pretty much every single other thing on that list. I personally wouldn’t want to know this woman, she sounds like a robot.
Heck, I even had wine, tunafish, and took hot baths. And my babies are in their cribs fussing it out as we speak. While I sip coffee and play online.
Should I just call cps myself?
March 14th, 2007 05:39
I lose myself at bacon.
Kelly - If she knows how to prune raspberries, I’m putting her to work in my yard. It would seem I have perfect raspberry conditions, based on how my tiny little suburban patch of them keeps trying to take over everything.
March 14th, 2007 10:45
Love this entry. Super Mom must be related to Martha Stewart, oh I forgot Martha has a huge staff to assist her in all her activities.
March 15th, 2007 03:51
I ran over her in the jogging stroller the other day after I’d had a few beers.