“Better Than Mango, Even”
I plan to do what is called “child-led weaning” in which you allow the child to nurse until they don’t want to anymore. I suspect this is going to weird people out. I’ve already gotten two “you’re STILL breastfeeding” comments, and it hasn’t even been a year yet. The woman in this video, who nursed her first for five years and is still nursing her second at seven, has, I suspect, heard more than two comments.
The American Academy of Pediatrics advises nursing until at least a year, and as long thereafter as is mutually desired. The World Health Organization recommends two years. The US Surgeon General has said it is a lucky baby who gets to nurse two years.
There are a lot of benefits to extended nursing.
- Extended breastfeeding has been linked to higher IQs.
- The immunological benefits of breastmilk continue; there is no magic age at which it “expires”. Available data shows that breastfeeding continues to be a source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as it continues. Nursing toddlers have fewer allergies and are less likely to develop asthma.
- Extended breastfeeding decreases the mother’s risk of breast, ovarian, uterine and endometrial cancer as well as protecting against rheumatoid arthritis and osteoporosis.
- Nothing comforts an unhappy or sick toddler like nursing, and I like that extended breastfeeding teaches that we should turn to human beings, not stuff, for comfort when we’re upset. Interestingly, there is a statistically significant link between extended breastfeeding and social adjustment in 6 - 8 year olds.
You can find the references for all of these claims at Kelly Mom.
Boston Globe Article on extended nursing. I particulary liked the bit that notes that extended breastfeeders tend to be highly educated.
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March 29th, 2007 12:40
I think that’s great that you want to keep breastfeeding.
I do not agree with the woman on the video.
#4 says…nothing comforts a sick or unhappy “TODDLER” toddler being I think 4 and under.
I also agree…things shouldn’t comfort children….parents can comfort children with lots of kisses and loves.
I dont know….that just freaked me out a bit to see that large child sucking on her moms breast.
I WISHED that I could have breast fed my kids longer than I could.
They weaned at 5 months (daughter) and 7 months (my boys)
I’m not a very good breastfeeder. I loved the closeness and the bond though.
Just not through school age.
So, we both have our own opinions, and that’s ok….qeustion, are you ok with breastfeeding your kids until they are 6-8 years of age…or possibly older if that is what they wish ? like the woman in the video ?
March 29th, 2007 12:54
An interesting subject and one I don’t have an incredibly strong opinion on, other than it really creeps me out, but I shouldn’t base a thought just on that. I’m probably creeped just because I’m a guy and it’s different.
So…I have a couple thoughts. One is it probably is healthier to nurse for longer than most do. I agree with the health benefits of breastfeeding, even if I don’t know if we’ll be able to do it with the twins and a toddler.
But my other thought is I don’t know if we should ever let children dictate when they want to stop something. Do we let them wear diapers until they are 6 because they would rather crap in their pants? Do we let them have a pacifier until they are 7? Do we let them carry around a blankey until they are 15? No.
We don’t because social structure dictates we don’t do that.
So my last thought is are we parenting because we want to do what’s best for the child or because we’re worried about what others think? It’s a bit of both.
There’s something to be said, however, for teaching the child a little fortitude and making them give up some habits that are fine as babies but not so fine when they get older. Maybe it teaches them to grow up. I’m not sure an 8 year old girl who is nursing has a healthy attachment to Mama.
March 29th, 2007 17:16
Before I had the boys I couldn’t imagine breastfeeding past one year. Now that I have them, I can see going longer. I don’t think I could go until they are seven years old though. I don’t love breastfeeding. I think it’s the best thing for them though and I think everyone should at least try it. I am determined to make it a year, after that, we’ll see. The mother seems happy to continue, the children seemed happy. I think people have a problem with it because there is no clear line drawn. When is too old? I’m not sure there is a universal answer to that.
March 29th, 2007 17:20
I don’t think that nursing an older child is a indication of emotional ill-health per se, but I’m not seeing it in my future. When I think “extended nursing,” at least for me, I think “toddler” not “school age child”.
March 29th, 2007 19:24
I nursed my twins to 3.5 and my 2-year old is still nursing now. Yes, that means I nursed 3 for a little while there! I found lots of benefits to child-led weaning. I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way. I have found it a respectful way to parent my children. I did have some rules with my twins after they got older- after all they are my “milkies”. For example, we didn’t nurse away from home. Sometimes, I would count to 20 or say the ABC’s or something like that and then it was time to be all done. One of the girls was ready to stop nursing and it just faded for her. I couldn’t tell you the last time she nursed. The other one stopped just after 3.5 with a little encouragement from me.
March 30th, 2007 09:34
I saw this somewhere else, and to be honest, it creeped me right out to see the 8 year old nursing! My question to her would be if she had boys how long would she nurse them? There comes a certain gray area when it comes to nursing boys that long…JMO.
I don’t ‘love’ breastfeeding, sure I know its the best thing for babies. And my little nurser loves it. But I probably will not nurse much past a year. But only time will tell that. It would probably different if I didn’t struggle with thrush the whole time I’m nursing babies.
I can see nursing through the toddler years, but for me that would be it too!
March 30th, 2007 12:46
I am the mother of 6-month-old breastfeeding twins. I can’t imagine stopping before a year. Nursing calms them, helps them sleep, and gets this battle-weary mother through the night. How else could one feed while sleeping? I plan to nurse as long as they want to nurse. However, I hope to stop before my children actually remember nursing. I had a friend in college who nursed until he was 8 years old. The memories for him were not fond. He was mocked by a classmate who witnessed it. As an adult, he blamed the extended breastfeeding for many of his mommy issues and issues with women. Personally, I doubt he can blame extended breastfeeding for a lackluster lovelife. But I would be curious to read studies on children, especially boys, who actually remember breastfeeding.
Love your blog, by the way. Found it on FertilityFriend, Pregnant with Multiples.
March 30th, 2007 12:51
I have a college friend who was breastfed until he was 5 and he didn’t seem to have any problems with women or a lackluster love life. I don’t know if he was ever mocked by peers. I’ll have to ask.
Thanks, by the way.
April 1st, 2007 12:39
Yeah, I was breast-fed until I was 5 and my little brother was also until about the same age.
It was an absolutely healthy and loving experience. We both grew up to be strong and well adjusted. I have a very good and loving relationship with my mother to this day, and also with women in general.
I’m 6 feet tall, my brother is even taller. Our teeth grew in straight without ever needing braces or any kind or correction. The worst health problem either of us have ever had was a cold…and I’m 33 now! I also happen to be physically stronger than any of my friends, and no I do not exercise enough to deserve to be as strong as I am! Is it related? I don’t know, but it all adds up.
My brother has gone on to earn a PHD in neuroscience. My own degree was a multi-disciplinary degree in Philosophy and Creative writing, and I am finishing up a 500 page novel while working in the International Finance department of a major motion picture studio. We turned out better than alright.
As for people who say that it creeps them out, with respect, if you find a mother breast feeding a little child (And yes, a 5 year old is a little child) then you clearly have a unhealthy view of motherhood and probably women altogether.
April 1st, 2007 13:37
Hi,
Do you see any kids still walking around in diapers or with pacifiers when they’re 20? No…kids give these things up when they’re ready. The guy who comlained about letting kids call the shots is a bit authoritarina, I think. Kids know aht they need. I nursed both mine for over 5 years. My first just said to mevery cheerily one day, just after he had nursed, “Good bye to nursing!” - and that was that - he never nursed again. The second stopped a bit more gradually. The average age for breastfeeding worldwide is 5 years. Children are much happier, much more secure. Mine both have bites to die for - so much so that a new dentist called the other dentists in to the office to see my son’s perfect teeth. All the otjer children of my brothers needed orthodonture. Fewer behaviour problems as their
My mother breast fed 4 of us, including twins - and all for extended periods. It is also
“needs” were taken care of. No drugs, straight through high school and college and their degrees. Both very brilliant, loving, creative people who are also warm and kind to others. The kids who don’t get what they need as babies are the ones who are forty year old babies -
still worried and takers rather than givers, feeling angry about their enforced separation from their mothers, and even their fathers. Many men love their women breastfeeding. There’s nothing like an orgasm with milk going everywhere.
important to breast feed these days when so much baby food and formula is so full of chemicals and non-human food. Breast fed babies grow organs and muscles - bottle fed babies grow more fat instead - even when they’re skinny. Breast fed babies have wider faces, so they don’t have the ear problems bottle fed babies have. They also have wider sinuses, so more space to breathe. Breast feeding is also work - bottle fed babies just swallow it down. Breast fed babies sweat and struggle, which develops their lungs, hearts, and even their muscles all over their bodies. Beyond this is the mother-baby connection, which is so much warmer and trusting.
Babies know their needs will be met, so they don’t become deanding and grumbly. It’s important to note that babies nursing into the later years aren’t nursing every day - at least mine weren’t. It was just an occasional comfort. By the way, my children never ever used a pacifier. Part of breastfeeding is that it satisfies the need to suck to develop the jaw and facial structure. The pacifier just pushes the teeth forward. I think, btw, that one reason many men are so obsessed with breasts is because they were deprived of them as babies. As to the mother’s health - I gained 70 pounds in each pregnancy, and lost it all within months without dieting or any extra struggling of any kind. My stomach was also back to flat - the baby nursing also stimulates the stomach muscles. Some also complain that they lose their breasts breastfeeding - my experience was the opposite - my breasts were great.
Good luck!
July 28th, 2007 01:51
I have no idea what to make of this video am I appalled am I shocked or just plain old weirded out? I then called my mother right away and asked how long I was breast fed! Answer: 6 weeks! (I think it had to do with us passing thrush back and forth). I have a hard time swallowing some of the above comments though. Things like ear infections, smaller sinuses and behaviour problems being common among children who are not breast fed until around the age of 5. I have never had a problem with my sinuses or my ears for that matter, and I do not have any behaviour problems, so I’d say I’m doing rather well. As far as smarts are concerned I am now entering my seconded year of university, holding down three jobs, and maintaining a 3.5 GPA (fyi: I am going for my degree in Social services) and I am fine. I think in the end it just comes down to how you raise your children. If you’re a crappie parent then you could potencaial have unstable children? That is not to say every unbalanced child had bad parents and every set of neglecting parents have rotten children. It just means lets put our store in something real, not just “the magical powers of breast feeding for the mind body and soul.” It just goes to show you just have to do your best I guess. If that means going on the WWW and showing that you are still breast feeding your kids at 8 well so be it I hope that they are happy and healthier for it. Its just one of those things you have to look at and take in with a grain of salt.