Person 1: “So, when do you plan on weaning?”
Response: “How often do you orgasm during sex?”
Person 1: “How is that any of your business?”
Response: “It’s not, but I thought we were asking one another inappropriate personal questions.”
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What things do you wish you had the chutzpah to say?
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St. Paul hit the nail on the head when he said, To the pure all things are pure, but to the impure nothing is pure (Ti 1:15). It is a tragically impure world that labels the purity of a baby at the breast as "gross." For those with the purity to see it, a nursing mother is one of the most precious, most beautiful, and most holy of all possible images of woman. (source)
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May 25th, 2007 13:24
“They’re not identical in my book. They look different.”
*oh. well, I happen to have a wallet-size photo of my single placenta. Here you go.”
May 25th, 2007 13:32
“How long are you going to keep nursing her?”
“Oh, another 10 minutes or so…”
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“When are you due?”
(cold stare) “Due for what?”
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May 25th, 2007 13:35
Nothing to add to that but I love the nursing mother’s response. People used to tick me off when they would be shocked that I was nursing, and I wasn’t even an extended BF. Grrrrrrrrrr
May 25th, 2007 14:13
I nursed for a long time (’til she was three), and I never got any flak about it…maybe I was just lucky. Granted, I almost never nursed in public, and I didn’t talk about it a lot. I do love these several comebacks though!
May 25th, 2007 15:10
This isn’t about breastfeeding but equally as annoying: A woman at the park saw me with my 2 year old son and 3 month old twins daughters and asked “Are they all yours?” (As if I had an entire kindergarten class with me.) When I proudly replied that they were she said, “Oh God, shoot me.” Instead of politely laughing I wish I had said “Where’s your gun?”
May 25th, 2007 15:24
I wish I had the chutzpah to say that!
May 25th, 2007 15:55
When I’m feeling especially cranky (okay, so that’s a lot of the time) I’d love to respond, “oh, you can count!” to all the folks that say, “you’ve got twins” to me.
May 25th, 2007 17:21
I”m working on a response to the “Are they natural?” question:
“No, we used Black Magic. Fortunately Kate found an old Wicca spell that only required us to cut off the heads of chickens instead of sacrificing virgins.”
What do you think? Too much?
May 25th, 2007 17:44
“Are they natural?”
Response A: “Nope, completely fake! fooled you!”
Response B: “Is your momma natural?”
Response C: “Nope, they’re plastic, but amazingly realistic!”
Response D: “Are you kidding? Synthetic’s so much more practical!”
Response E: “Nah, they’re artificial.”
OR, you could say “we just got lucky” and leave it at that. Ambiguous….
May 25th, 2007 17:59
Ahhh, another beautiful thing I’ve learned from you! I will so be saying that to the next person that asks!
May 25th, 2007 18:31
Oh, please don’t limit comebacks to breastfeeding specific.
“Do twins run in your family.”
“No, they ran in the Gonal-F injections.”
May 25th, 2007 19:48
The comment that has most irritated me was one which relates to the fact that MJ looks a lot like her daddy. I had a woman in a restaurant say to me, “My she looks just like her Daddy. How does it feel to be just the incubator?”
My jaw hit the floor and nothing witty (or even hostile) came out. I wish I had asked her how it felt to be a clueless and insensitive idiot.
I should mention that this was a mere week (maybe two) after she was born so I was still ragingly hormonal.
June 30th, 2007 12:45
I have an exceptionally pretty daughter, who looks a lot like me. People always say she looks just like mommy, then, if my husband is there “sorry, dad.” He always says “It’s a good thing!” He’s pretty good-looking to me, but it is most annoying when people say that.
The other one is “she’s so little to be walking!” with absolute shock at our 2 and a half year old’s natural ability to walk! She is the size of about an 18 month old, but the only thing I can think of is “she’s two. She’s been walking for about 16 months. She can even run and jump, isn’t that amazing?”
I really feel for the multiple moms, because we get so many comments on our daughter, many of which are completely uncalled for, but some are just dumb.
My favorite dumb comment is “she has such long hair, was she born with a lot?” She was, but is that strange? My mom always engages people and says “my kids were all bald until they were two” as if that helps.
And finally, when she was roughly six weeks old, I had her IN A DRESS, with a pink blanket and bow in her hair, and a man at church walked up and said “boy or girl?” I guess the blue stroller confused him.
And yes, I also had a lot of people who tried to touch her, and one stranger who supposedly knew my mom wanted to take her at an event to take her to my mom who was about 100 feet away. I said “no, I don’t think so.”