The Twinkies

Go read THIS on postpartum feelings. Swistle has snuck into my head and channeled what I felt during those early days. Her post should be required reading for all pregnant women and their partners to prepare them for what’s coming.

Other housekeeping goodies: this is your last chance to submit your entries to the Cuteness Cannot be Contained Carnival of Baby Photos or the I Don’t Have a Cool Name for It Twin Carnival. No prizes, just blog exposure. Don’t hold back on adding yourself to the blogroll, adding your recommendations for baby stuff and sharing the crazy comments you get on your kids.

Now…add your cool posts of the week. Expose yourself. Wait. That sounded wrong…

1. Nurse J. F stands in crib and looks petulant.
2. Nurse F. J tosses and turns in crib.
3. Read three stories to F. J seems to be out.
4. Go to leave. J is not out. Both stand and stare balefully at me.
5. Clean kitchen for 5 minutes while screaming varies in pitch from “hey” to “OHMYGOD YOU’VE ABANDONED ME FOREVER AND I AM GOING TO DIE HERE”
6. Go back upstairs and soothe babies. Pats and nibbles from the breast while they stand in their cribs work.
7. Babies start to giggle and look at one another.
8. After a few minutes of giggling, J lies down and falls asleep.
9. F reaches for me through her crib bars. She is being her most engaging, flirty self.
10. Play with F through crib bars for about 5 minutes. She tugs on my hair. I nibble on her fingers. And so on.
11. Nurse F lying down in my bedroom for about 3 minutes.
12. Put her back in her own crib.
13. Success.

Paige has announced that I am a…

The catch is, I have to pass the award on to five (only five!) other bloggers. Female bloggers. Only five. Five. Not ten. Not twenty. Five. But…you are all Rockin’ Girl Bloggers. Well, almost all. If you have a penis, you are not, by definition, a Girl Blogger.

So…my list:

Emilin at Name That Mama. Oh my GOD does she have a lot going on in her life right now, along with a child who may be the cutest blond in the world, and she STILL found time to help me out with my worries about whether our current sleep issues are normal. She’s smart, hot and appreciates a good lemon gelato. The perfect woman. Pity that a) I’m married, b) I’m straight and c) she’s married.

AMS at Our Own Creation. She fearlessly details her fertility issues, emotional, physical and financial while maintaining a sense of humor. She also sews a mean quilt. Did you know she’s going to have twins? Sure, she isn’t ACTUALLY pregnant yet, but since I am committed to making her a quilt and since I sew very slowly, she is sure to have multiples. Yes, it’s all about me.

Claire de la Lune at Cajo First of all, her little one is a chunky cutie whose cheeks I want to nibble. Secondly, his mother is smart, funny and willing to kick up her heels and make a fuss about things that matter to her rather than politely sidling off to pump in the bathroom.

Dangerdoll, who is singlehandedly ruining the purity of the blogosphere for the rest of us. Oh, yeah, and she’s funny. And smart. And foul mouthed. And Pann, at This Examined Life, who kept me sane during my early breastfeeding difficulties. She’s smart, with it, and details the joys of battling depression. Been there. (They count as one person because you see, they are in one paragraph. Plus, the next person doesn’t actually have a blog.)

Alice, who doesn’t have a public blog, gets the “I can’t link to you because you don’t have a public blog” nod. She does, however, have adorable twin boys, one of whom is promised in marriage to F. One of these days we will bend space and have our fantasy playgroup, in which the kids play in a baby-proofed environment while we ignore them, and each other, to read. She also has exquisite grammar and maintains her cool, her eloquent, pleasant cool, even when provoked. You should see her polite message board replies to people who want to know if their high beta blood test numbers mean twins. No. They don’t.

Now, all of you, go forth and nominate others.

Today J screamed loudly enough to cause another woman to look in to make sure everything was OK when I was in the mother’s lounge at Nordstroms. He was fine. I was nursing his sister.

Today F stumbled and bit her tongue hard enough to draw blood.

Today J fell out of the bathtub (onto me - he’s fine) while trying to climb out and fetch the toothbrush he had tossed to the floor.

Today someone managed to put a pan on a shelf that is totally out of reach, and there was nothing dragged to the bookcase to explain how that was accomplished.

Today someone unrolled the cloth diaper liners and dragged them all over the playroom. They were on that same “out-of-reach” shelf.

Today I combed J’s hair for the first time.

Today F climbed into my lap and snuggled there.

Today J hugged me.

Today was a normal day.

F has 7 teeth. J is holding steady at 4.