Sleep Problems - The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Just when it seemed like we had turned the corner on the sleep issues, J has started being difficult. He’s never been a good sleeper, if by “good” you mean “sleeps many hours in a row.” However, until the last few days he would get up, nurse, then go right back to sleep. The entire transaction could take less than 10 minutes. Alas, no longer. Now he screams when I try to put him back into his crib, if by “screams” you mean “howls and wails and sobs to wake the neighbors, or, more relevantly, his sister.”
I’ve started co-sleeping him again. I find myself filled with hostility towards him when he is shrieking at 3AM and it just isn’t fair to either of us for me to have to feel that way when he is just scared and upset and unable to fall back asleep. So back into the bed he comes. A quick perusal of a message board with kids all born in July of 2006 shows that this 11 month sleep disruption appears to be common. May it go away soon.
Stumble it!
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June 26th, 2007 11:28
Here’s to hoping.
Is F showing any signs of the 11 month sleep issues?
June 26th, 2007 13:44
I feel for you. My J has also been having some issues with going back to sleep, and back into bed. Sometimes with screaming, sometimes just wide awake and wanting to play. I go back and forth between major resentment at my loss of sleep, and feeling bad for him, because clearly, he wants to sleep more but for some reason can’t. And my daughter is more like F, handling the crib okay.
I hope J resolves his issues soon, and F doesn’t start them in sympathy.
June 26th, 2007 16:17
Ditto. May it go away soon. I am about 2 seconds short of pulling all my hair out and crying right along with her.
June 26th, 2007 17:49
So far F’s sleep just stays good with spurts of really good. She’s sleep a lot better if the godawful howling sounds her brother makes didn’t wake her up.
June 26th, 2007 20:20
I am so there. I can’t help feeling a bit resentful in the middle of the night even though I know logically that he isn’t doing it because it’s fun. Right now at 9 months, I just feel so exhausted. I was hoping things would get better but they feel like they’ve gotten worse!
June 26th, 2007 20:35
I hope it’s just a short phase… I wish I could offer some magical words of encouragement or advice but my almost 14-month olds still do not sleep through the night. I think they are improving though, so there is some hope! Just know that you have my sympathy!
June 26th, 2007 23:48
I’ve been co-sleeping on and off with our daughter since she was born. She now MOSTLY sleeps through the night in her crib (they are 14 months old) but often she’ll come into our bed at around 2 or 3 am. The reason why she comes to bed is because my need for sleep and alertness at work win out over the fight to keep her in her crib.
Plus she’s cuddly.
June 27th, 2007 11:54
Princess is having sleep regression, too: won’t go to sleep at night and absolutely no napping unless its on the mommy mattress.
June 27th, 2007 13:52
My 9-month-old twins still co-sleep. Either they co-sleep and nurse, or I don’t sleep at night. It’s as simple as that. I choose to sleep. I just tell myself they won’t be doing this in 5 years…hopefully. Maybe then I’ll sleep more than 3 hours in a row.
Gorgeous picture of F!
June 28th, 2007 15:10
I have b/g twins born April 2006, and at 6 mos. we put them in separate rooms since our daughter would wake in the night and consequently wake up her brother (they were born at 34 weeks, 5 days). He also liked to “talk” to himself in the night and that would wake her up. We would rush in there to pick up one of them and get them out of the room to re-settle and get back in their crib. ( No wonder they couldn’t sleep since we were in and out there with the first peep, and then our daughter would REALLY wake up for up to 2 hours at a go!) I really resisted doing this since I didn’t know any other twin moms who had done this, and I felt like I must be a failure somehow. All I can tell you is that our lives instantly improved as the first night, our son went through -and by that I mean in bed no later than 6:30-7pm with a “dream feed” at 10pm and then no waking until around 6:15am. His sister was about a month behind with a second waking about 3am, but she dropped that fairly quickly. Between 7-8 mos. all night feeds dropped, and our babies were in their cribs - for the night w/o waking - for a solid 12 hours. I don’t know if you are willing to consider separating them - at least for a little while - to try this out, but it might be worth a try. Another twin mom I know moved their “waker” back into their room, and when we could sleep more, he re-joined his brother and now they sleep in the same room again w/o any problems.
Like you, we were at wit’s end, and a few twin moms recommended “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”. I read that book along with the latest Ferber book, “No Cry Sleep Solution”, and several others as I was desperate to get our lives back on track since we were completely frazzled (it affected everything including our marriage). We realized with our twins that we were putting them to bed too late, and once we started moving up their bedtime, our lives really improved. (That and nap routines/schedules that were consistent.) It’s true sleep becomes a family problem, and with my husband and I working full-time, we just couldn’t maintain our zombie status.
I’m definitely not trying to gloat or brag on our twins (we contend with biting - a whole other diatribe) but rather encourage you to explore some ideas you might not have considered. (I’m sure I’ll be consulting the books again when they go into toddler beds, but we’re not close to that yet, so we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.)
Good luck with this. I am completely sympathetic to how depressing, agonizing, and debilitating this is for all of you. Twins keep things complicated, and sometimes I think you have to ask yourself what you would do if they born as singles, a few years apart. Every family is unique, and you will find the right “fit” for all of you. Feel free to send me an email if you need to vent more or seek solace.