July Round Robin Twin Question
Amy at Double Delight has posted this month’s Round Robin question. How do you deal with the challenges of sleep training multiples? How successful do you think that your strategy has been?
For me this is the ongoing question. The short answer is “damned if I know.” The longer answer is that I am keeping a sleep log and have standardized my night-time routine. Just being in the room as the twins fall asleep seems to help them tremendously.
Sometime in the month of July write up YOUR answer to this question, and post a comment on Amy’s blog. If you let me know as well, I will put a link to your post here. And, of course, in the spirit of a Round Robin, it would be very civil of you to also link to all the responses to this question.
Someone has the answer.
Postings answering this (that I know about? Have I missed you? Let me know…)
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July 2nd, 2007 16:23
Your mention of “being in the room” reminds me of when I was getting Clara to sleep consistently in her own big girl (twin size) bed. First I was laying in her bed with her, then I was sitting up on her bed, then I was sitting with her in a rocking chair for a while, then she had just 5 minutes of snuggle time in the rocker, then she’d eventually voluntarily jump from me to to bed to go to sleep after just a 10 second token snuggle in the chair. Now it’s just “goodnight, I love you” after we read… and usually it works. A gradual separation of me and her… On the other hand, she was close to 3 years old when we did that, but gradual changes seem to be a solid way to shape behavior, if my grad school psych training is to be believed.
July 2nd, 2007 20:54
I feel like we’re going backwards because now (at nine months) we’ve started semi co-sleeping again. We rock, nurse, and use code words (night night, shhhh ect) to get them to sleep and then when (when, not if) they wake up next they usually just come to bed with me until the other one cries. Then the one I have in bed with me goes into their crib and I pick up the crying one. I find it easier this way because then I don’t have to wake all the way up to feed and they go back to sleep after eating alot easier. I hope someone has a magic answer because I sure as heck don’t! For now, I just look at it for what it is, temporary. Once they get into toddler hood maybe we’ll have more control over it. At least it helps me cope with it to think about it that way.
July 2nd, 2007 23:23
Every time that we think we’ve got the sleeping thing down, something else happens! Our girls are 13 months old and they sleep horribly when we’re in the same room as them. When we’re at home we put them in their separate (but in the same room) cribs in their nursery. The windows are covered so it is pitch black and we kiss them each goodnight. Usually that works wonders.
Right now we are visiting family and we’re all sleeping in the same room and it is a nightmare!
July 3rd, 2007 16:26
We were able to get our b/g twins to sleep through the night by separating them into different rooms (at 6 mos) - with blackout shades as well. It worked a treat for us, and we wondered why we didn’t do it a lot sooner. (I was resisting thinking I “failed” twin momhood, but at that point I would have traded anything for a good night’s sleep!) We haven’t put them back together nor do we intend to since we have the room in the house (all guests are welcome to sleep on the couch now!) We did go on vacation for a week just recently, and the twins (now 14 mos) shared a bedroom without any problems (for a brief moment we thought about putting them back together, but that was a very fleeting thought!. We synchronized their naps and bedtimes - literally my husband and I each holding a baby and putting them down at the same time. For us, a schedule and consistent routine are the key to sleep and happiness. We read a lot of books on sleep and found Weissbluth’s “healthy sleep habits, happy child” to be helpful to us. Our neighbors with b/b twins separated their guys for a short time (remove the one who wakes up more frequently) until both boys were going through the night very consistently, and then put them back into the same bedroom.
Good luck on the sleep front — you will get there!
July 3rd, 2007 20:10
i’ll have to think on this as I’m too sleep deprived right now to even put an cohesive thought together. Let’s pray that someone sleeps better TONIGHT!
July 3rd, 2007 20:47
from Mel at Stirrup Queens:
This is how we did it (and our twins sleep in the same room, though we moved them to separate cribs when they were 6 months): we used the no cry sleep solution and figured out their sleep trends, etc. Then, we started saying and signing our sleep phrases (our kids both sign and speak. They started signing back around 10 months or so). This worked okay for day, but it still didn’t solve the night time sleep wakings. We also were too worried not to feed our son whenever he was hungry because he was so small. So we let him have a night bottle or two until 15 months or so. Then we really put our foot down and had a family meeting where we talked about the new sleep plan (while they crawled around and didn’t listen to us). We then took them through the routine awake, signing and speaking what would happen. And we made up 4 sleep rules. If they woke in the night they could put a binky in their mouth, hug their doggie stuffed animal, rub their own hair (because that was something they wanted us to do–stand in their room and stroke their foreheads to get them to sleep)–or turn on Ocean Wonders. The first night we did this, they seemed to understand and would act it out with us. Then, when the lights went off, the screaming began. We came upstairs and repeated the 4 rules. They seemed okay. We left. They screamed. We repeated this about 10 times. Each time we went in the room, the only thing we would say/sign was “you know the rules, let’s go over them again. What are you allowed to do? Can you scream?” And they would sign “no.” “Can you cry?” And they would say “no” and then we’d go through the list of the 4 things they could do. After about 10 times, they went to sleep.
The next night, we probably went in and repeated it 6 times. By the third night, we maybe went in twice. But the fourth night, they started sleeping okay. During night wakings, we repeated the same thing. Once they saw they were only going to get the same speech on autoplay and no cuddles, they stopped the night screaming too. It probably was a two-week period, but they did settle into a 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. routine.
And we stick to the same night routine and same rules today. The consequence for not following the rules is that they have to split into separate rooms (which we’ve never actually had to do) for the night. They want to stay together so once they get the reminder, they usually settle down.
I hope that helps. At least a little. Because teaching them how to sleep sucks hardcore.
July 5th, 2007 07:18
I haven’t said too much because I am afraid to jinx it (and also because what I am about to say will bring th wrath of the ‘what not to do’ gods down on my head BUT….
Tommy has slept through the last 2 nights - without any need to be settled and without his dummy. What did I do differently? I gave him a pillow, in his cot! It isn’t a thick pillow (about and inch thick) but he seems to love it - and I’m loving the extra sleep.
Oh and by all night I mean from 7pm - 6am
Now we just need to figure out what Nathans ‘thing’ is!
A
July 6th, 2007 08:55
*sigh* i jinxed it *yawn*
July 8th, 2007 21:46
Here’s my Twin Sleeping treatise - long but heartfelt. And with pics!
http://sidetalk.wordpress.com/2007/07/09/twin-sleeping-issues-fascinating-if-you-have-twins/
July 10th, 2007 15:31
[…] Twin sleeping issues. Fascinating - if you have twins. | Jul 09th 2007 Part of the July Round-Robin Twin Question - see Double Delight and other responses at The Twinkies. […]