August 13, 2007 at 4:15 pm
· Filed under From The Trenches
- …you can explain, in detail, the difference between monozygotic and dizygotic even though you haven’t taken a biology class since high school.
- …you understand that there really can be differently gendered identical twins, but it’s so complicated and unlikely that you lie to all and sundry and say it’s impossible. (Alice)
- …you smile and nod when a stranger is trying to convince you that your children are identical, even though they have different eye colors, facial structures and one is three inches taller than the other. (MommaBean)
- …you did not take your babies hospital bracelets off till they were 7 month old. (Paula)
- …you ever watched your fundal height hit 50cm… or 57cm. (Heather)
- …you ever gained (or lost) 90 lbs in a matter of weeks. (Heather)
- …you refer to singleton pregnancies as “singleton pregnancies.” (Swistle)
- …you’ve ever asked someone pregnant with a singleton when she’s due, thinking she’s got at least another 2 months, she says she’s due the next week and you think “gosh, she’s barely showing.” (Lori)
- …you are considered a breastfeeding superstar in your La Leche League group. (Marion)
- …each breast has an assigned baby for the night. (Amanda)
- …you’ve heard “double trouble” and “you must have your hands full” more times than you can count. (Eva)
- …your standard answer of “I don’t know what it is like to have one” can be spouted off to a variety of comments you get about having twins, without too much of a thought.(SusanR)
- … it takes you two hours to go to shop for just milk and bread getting the pram & babies in/out /in and out of the car and then dealing all the people that stop you to ask “are they twins?” and tell you how adorable they are after saying “double trouble !” as well as all the people who tell you what they know about twins. (Trish)
- …you can get through an entire shopping trip without once making eye contact with a stranger. (Alice)
- …everytime you hear, “Double the trouble” you immediately say “Double the fun” and move on. (Meleah)
- …to avoid all of the comments and stares, you’ve patented the “just keep walking and don’t make eye contact” move when shopping with your multiples. (MommaBean)
- …you’ve become good at picking things up with your toes. (Eva)
- …you can nurse two babies, talk on the phone, and eat your dinner simultaneously. (Eva)
- …your 6-year-old and 4-year-old daughters are both competent diaper-changers (Yep. . even the poopy ones!) (Shannon)
- …you ever had 2 (or 3 or 4) kids in diapers at once. (Heather)
- …you get so excited when you see a double stroller — thinking maybe just maybe there is another twin mom you can talk to. (Meleah)
- …you keep up with current events in the news by catching only the headlines (and infer the rest of the story) in the few precious moments after the kids are down for a nap, you’ve picked up some toys (you know, so you don’t trip and break your neck), eaten leftovers (usually the kids’) for lunch…all before someone decides that 45 minutes is the perfect length for a nap. (H)
- You gravitate towards other moms of multiples because you know that they just get it. (MommaBean)
- …a break to you is parenting one baby. (Eva)
- …you have actually considered punching a pregnant lady for saying having twins was “doing it the easy way”. (Good Squad Sarah)
- …you try to be kind when mothers of one talk about how stressful it is, while inside you’re wondering how on earth one baby can be stressful at all. (Alice)
- …you have no sympathy for the 5 month pregnant moms that use the “stork parking” when they aren’t even wearing maternity clothes yet.(Heather)
- …when overwhelmed you comfort yourself with the thought, well, there is someone is even more overworked than me because they have triplets…quads…etc… (Meleah)
- …you have twins, then have a singleton, and yes, you were right about how easy just one baby at a time is, but no one believes you except another mother of multiples! (Marion)
- …if you nod and smile knowingly, teeth clenched tightly, as your friend empathizes with you because she “had kids really close together, so that must be *just like* having twins.” (H)
- …you think that single prams, even the Mountain Buggy SUV three-wheeler types, look svelte and petite. (Jano)
- You trade in your fancy sports car for a more practical one and you get excited about the estate car because the boot has SO MUCH SPACE! (Amy)
- …you have vomit stains on both shoulders and you don’t care, because laundry? (Jano)
- …you are suddenly a LOT less shy than you used to be about asking a near-passing fellow in the grocery store to help hoist a case of tomatoe sauce onto your cart. You have only one hand free – you are nursing one of the twins. (Shannon)
- …you not only don’t SQUIRM when a stranger in public wants to admire/touch your baby. . . you WATCH for that eager eye and offer “Would you like to hold him” because that gives you a free hand to round up your toddler, scarf down a pancake breakfast, etc, etc. (Shannon)
- …you have ever carried a baby on your front, a baby on your back, and loaded groceries into your vehicle without assistance. (Heather)
- … you select shopping markets based on how many kids you can get into a cart. (Daralee)
- …you have a hard time saying “baby.” It’s always “babies” even if you are only talking about one. (Becca)
- …you ask all your newly parent friends how their “babies” are, even though they only have one – because your reference is always more than one. (Kim)
- …you think about toys, not according to purchase price, but damage hen tossed, hurled, or chucked at a sibling’s head (or other body part). (Lisa)
- …you have two (or more) of the same clothing/accessory in all colors available. (Lisa)
- …you can name the shops which give discounts for multiples and even know their website address by heart. (Amy)
- …you understand how kids born on Christmas must feel when your kids get one normal sized gift to share on their birthday. (Alice)
- …you feel like no matter how you dress your kids, you’re making some kind of statement–even if you don’t want to do so. (Swistle)
- …you try real hard NOT to dress them the same… but some days you just have say the hell with it. (Paula)
- …you’ve ever pondered whether you should give a gift from each child or if you should give a gift from both children. (MommaBean)
- … you get frustrated that not everything comes in twos already (or threes, or fours), especially when you’re in a hurry. (Daralee)
- …you watch your twins/trips/quads play together and think how boring it must be just having one. (Kim)
- …you’ve told your birth story and relayed all the stats on your kids at least 5 times per outing. (Marion)
- …the whole world is interested in your children. (Swistle)
Permalink
Alice said,
August 9, 2007 @ 4:41 pm
You understand that there really can be differently gendered identical twins, but it’s so complicated and unlikely that you lie to all and sundry and say it’s impossible.
Paula The Surf Mom said,
August 9, 2007 @ 5:01 pm
You might be the mother of multiples if you did not take your babies hospital bracelets off till they were 7 month old.
Eva said,
August 9, 2007 @ 8:43 pm
You’ve heard “double trouble” and “you must have your hands full” more times than you can count.
You’ve become good at picking things up with your toes.
You can nurse two babies, talk on the phone, and eat your dinner simultaneously.
A break to you is parenting one baby.
I may have more later!
jano said,
August 9, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
You think that single prams, even the Mountain Buggy SUV three-wheeler types, look svelte and petite.
You have vomit stains on both shoulders.
You don’t care, because laundry?
SusanR said,
August 9, 2007 @ 9:38 pm
Your standard answer of “I don’t know what it is like to have one” can be spouted off to a variety of comments you get about having twins, without too much of a thought.
Lisa said,
August 9, 2007 @ 10:48 pm
If you think about toys, not according to purchase price, but damage when tossed, hurled, or chucked at a siblings head (or other body part).
If you have two (or more) of the same clothing/accessory in all colors available.
Can’t wait to see the whole list!
Becca said,
August 10, 2007 @ 12:03 am
If you have a hard time saying “baby” its always “babies” even if your only talking about one.
trish said,
August 10, 2007 @ 1:17 am
… it takes you two hours to go to shop for just milk and bread … just getting the pram & babies in/out /in and out of the car and then dealing all the people that stop you to ask you questions ‘are they twins ?’ and tell you how adorable they are after saying “double trouble !” or all the people who tell you what they know about twins
Shannon said,
August 10, 2007 @ 2:35 am
If your 6-year-old and 4-year-old daughters are both competent diaper-changers (Yep. . even the poopy ones!)
Shannon said,
August 10, 2007 @ 2:37 am
If you are suddenly a LOT less shy than you used to be about asking a near-passing fellow in the grocery store to help hoist a case of tomatoe sauce onto your cart. You have only one hand free – you are nursing one of the twins.
Shannon said,
August 10, 2007 @ 2:43 am
You not only don’t SQUIRM when a stranger in public wants to admire/touch your baby. . . you WATCH for that eager eye and offer “Would you like to hold him” because that gives you a free hand to round up your toddler, scarf down a pancake breakfast, etc, etc.
Amy said,
August 10, 2007 @ 7:44 am
you can name the shops which give discount for multiples and even know their website address by heart.
Amy said,
August 10, 2007 @ 7:46 am
You trade in your fancy sports car for a more practical one and you get excited about the estate car because the boot has SO MUCH SPACE!
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said,
August 10, 2007 @ 9:02 am
You have actually considered punching a pregnant lady for saying having twins was “doing it the easy way”.
Alice said,
August 10, 2007 @ 10:01 am
You try to be kind when mothers of one talk about how stressful it is, while inside you’re wondering how on earth one baby can be stressful at all.
You can get through an entire shopping trip without once making eye contact with a stranger.
You understand how kids born on Christmas must feel when your kids get one normal sized gift to share on their birthday (yeah, I’m greedy).
Heather said,
August 10, 2007 @ 10:05 am
If you have ever carried a baby on your front, a baby on your back, and loaded groceries into your vehicle without assistance.
If you have no sympathy for the 5 month pregnant moms that use the “stork parking” when they aren’t even wearing maternity clothes yet.
If you ever watched your fundal height hit 50cm… or 57cm.
If you ever bought a Choo Choo Wagon.
If you ever had 2 (or 3 or 4) kids in diapers at once.
If you ever gained (or lost) 90 lbs in a matter of weeks.
*And someone please tell me if there’s a list somewhere of the stores that offer discounts for multiples?*
Swistle said,
August 10, 2007 @ 10:49 am
…you refer to singleton pregnancies as “singleton pregnancies.”
…you feel like no matter how you dress your kids, you’re making some kind of statement–even if you don’t want to do so.
…the whole world is interested in your children.
Kim said,
August 10, 2007 @ 11:10 am
If you ask all your newly parent friends how their “babies” are, even though they only have one – because your reference is always more than one.
If you watch your twins/trips/quads play together and think how boring it must be just having one.
Meleah said,
August 10, 2007 @ 1:12 pm
You get so excited when you see a double stroller — thinking maybe just maybe there is another twin mom you can talk to.
When overwhelmed you comfort yourself with the thought, well, there is someone is even more overworked than me because they have triplets…quads…etc…
Everytime you hear, “Double the trouble” you immediately say “Double the fun” and move on.
Marion said,
August 10, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
you are considered a breastfeeding superstar in your La Leche League group.
you’ve told your birth story and relayed all the stats on your kids at least 5 times per outing.
Lynn said,
August 10, 2007 @ 3:46 pm
You have twins, then have a singleton, and yes, you were right about how easy just one baby at a time is, but noone believes you except another mother of multiples!
Lori said,
August 10, 2007 @ 8:07 pm
If you’ve ever asked someone pregnant with a singleton when they’re due, thinking they’ve got at least another 2 months, and they say they’re due the next week. And you think “gosh, she’s barely showing”
H said,
August 10, 2007 @ 11:04 pm
* If you nod and smile knowingly, teeth clenched tightly, as your friend empathizes with you because she “had kids really close together, so that must be *just like* having twins.”
* If you keep up with current events in the news by catching only the headlines (and infer the rest of the story) in the few precious moments after the kids are down for a nap, you’ve picked up some toys (you know, so you don’t trip and break your neck), eaten leftovers (usually the kids’) for lunch…all before someone decides that 45 minutes is the perfect length for a nap.
Amanda said,
August 11, 2007 @ 12:41 am
Each breast has an assigned baby for the night.
DaraLee said,
August 11, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
… you get frustrated that not everything comes in twos already (or threes, or fours), especially when you’re in a hurry.
… you select shopping markets based on how many kids you can get into a cart.
Momma Bean said,
August 13, 2007 @ 10:20 am
You’ve ever pondered whether you should give a gift from each child or if you should give a gift from both children.
You smile and nod when a stranger is trying to convince you that your children are identical, even though they have different eye colors, facial structures and one is three inches taller than the other.
You gravitate towards other moms of multiples because you know that they just get it.
To avoid all of the comments and stares, you’ve patented the “just keep walking and don’t make eye contact” move when shopping with your multiples.
Paula The Surf Mom said,
August 13, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
You try real hard NOT to dress them the same… but some days you just have say the hell with it.
Mel said,
August 13, 2007 @ 7:31 pm
You have people wink and say, “twins! That’s the way to do it–get it all done with at once” while you’re silently seething since nothing is said to the mother in front of you who is walking in with two children of different ages.
You hear on a daily basis, “what did it feel like to have two inside of you?”
You have people ask you if you can tell them apart!
Swistle said,
August 13, 2007 @ 9:51 pm
That list is so awesome. I kept reading each thing and thinking, “YES! Oh, yeah, exactly! Hey, I do that!,” etc. Fun idea!
Lori said,
August 14, 2007 @ 8:53 am
This is a great list!!
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said,
August 14, 2007 @ 9:46 am
You refer to all pregnant people’s bellies as “them”, even if they are having one.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said,
August 14, 2007 @ 9:46 am
You have ever referred to your prenant self as “the three of us”.
k8 said,
August 14, 2007 @ 9:47 am
hey! just found your blog. adorable babies! k8 (mom of 4 yr old identicals)
Kori said,
August 15, 2007 @ 8:32 am
You judge new people you meet based on how many tired old sayings they say. Zero tired old sayings = New BFF!
Kori said,
August 15, 2007 @ 10:41 am
When you’re little boy is wearing his sister’s pink pajama’s and you don’t even bat an eye. How long can you get away with cross dressing them before it becomes psychologically damaging?
» Calling for reinforcements said,
August 19, 2007 @ 11:54 am
[...] at The Twinkies (and all contributors) had me laughing at her oh so true ‘You might be a mother of multiples [...]
Hilary said,
August 20, 2007 @ 9:18 pm
OK, I had to add this somewhere. Check out this link:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675
She may or may not have multiples, but I love how her replies to the “All they all yours??” comments get funnier and snarkier as the story goes on. What a great read for an ebay description.
Eva said,
August 23, 2007 @ 11:33 am
But wait, there’s more…
You no longer think of your breasts as left and right, but as Susie’s and Tommy’s.
You’ve ever grabbed a third helping as you said, “I’m eating for three” (or four, or five…)
Gayle said,
August 26, 2007 @ 2:17 am
Diapers and wipes come in cases, not packages.
Gayle said,
August 26, 2007 @ 2:21 am
First time we took my triplets out to the grocery store it took us 5 HOURS to go shopping. Have to stop every five seconds from rude people who stand, blocking your way with their mouth open and chin hitting the floor. You would think the babies have green skin and purple hair. Actually I don’t think we would get quite the attention if it was a single baby with that.
Susan said,
August 28, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
The thought of paying for college leaves you trembling with fear!
Michelle said,
August 29, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
the phone rings and you think “Why is someone calling me! Don’t people know that I’m busy with twins?”
claroux said,
September 1, 2007 @ 10:23 pm
…you’ve gone to work with two pacifiers on “leashes” clipped to your clothing in various places and not noticed until a co worker points it out.
Mama Said Riot! » Parenting multiples - funny :) said,
September 18, 2007 @ 11:31 pm
[...] You Might Be A Mother Of Multiples If… [...]
threeundertwo said,
May 18, 2008 @ 1:03 am
I absolutely love this list!
Daughter of Food said,
May 20, 2008 @ 2:08 pm
… you watch John and Kate Plus Eight and laugh at how easy you have it.