Someday I Will…
Someday I will learn French. Someday I will get a PhD. Someday I will manage to have perfectly manicured gardens, weed free and deadheaded. Someday I will have a clean kitchen and all the laundry done. Some day I will remember to put on sunscreen, pack a hat and not have to go back to find my wallet when I leave the house. Someday I will shave my legs as soon as I am stubbly rather than waiting until my hair is so soft and fuzzy you would think I am not shaving out of a reason more interesting than procrastination because surely no one can put off something so trivial for such a long time.
It’s tempting to construct this perfect self that lives somewhere in some vague future. A perfect, shaved, calm and organized self that looks polished. She carries a nice purse, that self. Her purse says, “I am fashionable, but not foolishly so.” She also has a good manicure. She also will never exist. I can blame my current disheveled state on the twins but, really, I’ve always been disheveled. I’m trying to let go of the illusion that if I just try a little harder I could be irreproachably perfect. If I am just perfect the kids won’t ever throw a tantrum in public, won’t ever bite each other (again), won’t ever be hurt.
I might manage to learn French some day, but, really, I’ll have chipped nails and stubbly ankles when I do. There may be a you-know-you’ve-lusted-for-me-status-bag, but it will still be filled with bags of corn puffs and it will still eat my keys. There will be public meltdowns. As long as it’s the kids and not me I’ll count that as success.
…from an idea started by Letters to My Daughters.
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October 5th, 2007 10:04
That is a great “someday”. I go for comfort over polished anyday…I’m a flipflop and jeans wearing, big purse toting girl! =)
October 5th, 2007 10:27
I’m on about the same shaving schedule as you.. if not worse. I don’t carry a purse because I throw all my crap in the diaper bag. I’ll probably never learn French, but I don’t care. I’ll never be in a position to need to know French! We’ll also always have arguments, biting and public fit throwing. It’s in the contract. Ya know, that little thing they call a “Birth Certificate” you have to sign before you leave the hospital?!
October 5th, 2007 10:32
Hey, wait a second…if I had just not signed the birth certificate could I have avoided the biting and public fit throwing?
October 5th, 2007 10:42
I don’t know but it’s too late now!! It’s like a bad car dealership. They advertise this custom car with all the cool gadgets moms need. (bulletproof windows for Angry Sippy Cup child, seatbelts that not only harness your child in but keep the cheerio’s out of the floorboard) You think you’ve gotten this great deal then you get it home and it won’t start, only to start right up after you pay the mechanic to haul it off. You wake up the next morning and the tires are flat. You get all of that fixed and the transmission goes out. Thanks to that nifty little contract, you are stuck paying 25,000 dollars for a car you can’t even back out of the driveway!
October 5th, 2007 11:12
Thanks for this post, Stacie. I need to remind myself the exact same thing many time each day. As always — you say it best. If I ever someday lose the extra 25 pounds I am toting around I will still have stubbly legs and need to pluck my eyebrows. At least for now I can blame 10 pounds on my body holding onto it for breastmilk — We all now it is really holding on because I like donuts.
October 5th, 2007 11:18
This is fabulous! I have that same “just try harder” syndrome. And, the same packages of corn puffs in my bag!
October 5th, 2007 12:16
Ha! Great someday post! I feel oddly comforted in the fact that your twins bite, too!
October 5th, 2007 13:08
Someday I will see you on the same someday.
October 5th, 2007 13:12
Gorgeous entry. I’ll be coming back here to read and re-read this when I feel the need to be Supermom.
October 5th, 2007 15:47
What a wonderful post.
I appreciate your honesty.
Until we find this someday (read never) it feels good to find others who are exactly where they are and meet you you where you are.
October 5th, 2007 19:48
French is OK, but for me it’s violin and voice lessons. And, I’ll have you know, I shave my legs at least every 2 weeks.
October 5th, 2007 22:05
Someday we will still not be perfect. I love your blog.
October 5th, 2007 22:07
I appreciate your honesty too - I’m on the same page as you too. I just managed to shave my legs too before someone said ‘hey you are covered in tarantulas’.Plus I got my underarms waxed on the spur of the moment.
I have chipped nails, I forget things but nothing beats the little ones who make my heart sing. On eof mine is starting to bite -ouch !