Things Not to Say to Your Post-Partum Partner
- Hey, look! You did get stretch marks!
- I guess it’s really hard to lose all the baby weight.
- I’ll babysit the kids this weekend so you can have a few hours off.
- I’d like to quit my job and stay home doing nothing all day. That sounds great.
- All my friends at work say their kids were sleeping through the night by now.
- I went out to Bricco (insert your local nice restaurant here) with work for lunch and expensed it. *
Any more?
—–
* Brian has not said all of these but he has said this one and not only does Bricco serve much nicer food than what I eat for lunch they also refused to seat me because of the double stroller when I went there with my mother-in-law. So I really hate them.
Stumble it!
and the 529 college savings accounts get a kickback.
November 27th, 2007 09:50
I have had the “I should get to watch what I want since you get to watch tv all day.”
November 27th, 2007 10:38
“Why are you crying?” Mind you M was 1 week old, I hadn’t showered in a day, had only slept for a couple hours total over the past few days, and was putting the Wheaties into the fridge. Once I realized what I was doing I had a mental breakdown. I know he meant know harm, but at that moment the entire world was falling apart and all I could do was cry.
November 27th, 2007 12:46
I thought you might like to know that there is a formula ad at the top of your page.
November 27th, 2007 12:49
— “I had a tough day at work too, you know”
— “Wow, it’s really hard when both of them start crying, huh?”
— “I need to lose some weight”
November 27th, 2007 16:07
Oh yeah, I’ve had that last one, too. The girls get organic, fresh everything, and I’m the one eating Chef Boyardee. Lucky for him, none of the other comments were made, but surely I’m forgetting something??
November 27th, 2007 16:28
“Do you want to go the gym? I’ll watch them.”
“How do you do this all day?” (After 3 hours where they slept for most of it)
For the most part H is pretty good about saying stupid stuff, but I would probably be the maddest about the lunch at restaurant I was boycotting. But then I’m always boycotting somewhere…
November 27th, 2007 17:31
The only one my hubby has said is #4 and I think that’s the worst one of all.
November 27th, 2007 19:31
Indie — I know. I suspect I get so many formula ads because of all the breastfeeding talk on this blog and that formula companies buy keywords linked to breastfeeding. I should go figure out how to block them at Google but that would take mental energy.
November 27th, 2007 19:41
After an 18 hour labor, while I was still having my tear stitched up: “Can we have another one?”
November 27th, 2007 20:20
Kelly Jo, that made me laugh!
Bad Bricco! Geez, talk about NOT a family friendly restaurant.
November 27th, 2007 20:24
Why are you mad? I’m only a few minutes late.
November 27th, 2007 20:29
Yeah, Bricco was really snotty about it too. They wouldn’t even seat us on the outdoor patio. We walked down the street to another restaurant (Mediza, in case locals are interested) and asked if there would be a problem with the stroller and the owner/host looked at us like we just might be insane and said, “ummm….no.” He came out and chatted about his two daughters and how his wife was pregnant again and how the restaurant was actually named after his daughters. We’ve taken the kids there again when the grandparents are in town, we eat there as often as parents of toddlers can hope to get out which, I admit, isn’t often. Last time I was there I saw a family with an older toddler and a nursing baby. I really like that place which not only has great food but balances an adult ambiance and family friendly attitudes very well. You’d think we were in Europe where kids aren’t quite as confined to “family friendly” dives.
November 28th, 2007 02:19
How about, “Why do you look so tired all of the time?” or “Do you want me to babysit him for a few hours so you can go get groceries?”
November 28th, 2007 11:46
Mine said number four repeatedly, except he made it even more insulting by saying that I was at home ‘frolicking’ with the boys all day while he ‘worked his ass off at work.’
I got my revenge recently when he lost his job and I worked for five months and HE stayed home with the boys. Now he is happily back at work and says things like ‘take care of yourself, it’s hard work being with the boys all day alone.’
You think?
November 28th, 2007 15:56
Don’t say to your p-p partner “stop crying, there is absolutely no reason to cry. what is wrong with you??”
November 28th, 2007 16:26
my husband has said no 4. but not so bluntly … I know he thinks it but rather I sit on computer hehe I do !
November 28th, 2007 17:49
Michael is usually very good about this stuff. Especially since he was unemployed for 6 months last year & got first hand experience on what it is like. HOWEVER…. we’re staying with friends over Thanksgiving & he “kindly” offers to babysit D so I can go out with my friend. *Boggle* I just looked at him & said “You can’t babysit your own child”. He kept insisting that yes you could (while smoke is starting to come out my ears). “No, you cannot (idiothole). It is called BEING A PARENT”. And I stalked away.
November 28th, 2007 22:02
“This pregnancy was really hard on me.”
Yes, he took care of me and switched out my IV bags while I had hyperemesis, but I HAD THE HYPEREMESIS. I had every nasty test known to femalekind to determine his sperm sucked, injected myself with crazy hormones, had my eggs sucked out, fertilized and reintroduced, and then carried twins. I had a vaginal and a c-section on the same frigging day, and had to do most of the work the first week because he threw his back out the day after they were born. Talk about timing. I appreciate that it was hard on him,really I do, but I selfishly find it hard to care. I want to want to care, if that makes sense.
November 28th, 2007 23:20
After a night of very little sleep because of cranky baby and constant nursing and a husband who is a log, dead to the world:
“Man, am I TIRED.”
I ended up telling Josh that even if he was exhausted I could not hear another word about his fatigue without wanting to rip his nose off.
November 29th, 2007 12:49
OUCH! Wow. Things to look forward to…
November 30th, 2007 12:48
“Why don’t you just feed them formula so that you can get something DONE around here?”
December 2nd, 2007 01:56
Haha yes, my husband who slept in the guest bedroom and did not have to wake ONCE in the night after the babies turned two weeks old (because he had to go to work and needed his rest)…this went on for quite a while…a month or so, and he kept telling me how tired he was.
WHAT?!?!!!!!!!!!!!?!?
I told him never to tell me that again.
He didn’t understand, and said it didn’t have to be a competition, but for me to hear that after I woke with the twins all night every night while he snored away…well, I stand by my comment, he should never tell me that again.
December 2nd, 2007 19:08
Heh. When the babies were little (up to 6 months) they slept in our room. Apart from about 9.30 pm when I pumped and went to bed (my husband did the midnight/1am feed with bottles), I was awake all the time it seemed – either feeding, or settling, or trying to sleep through my husband feeding and settling, or lying awake thinking “they’ll be awake again in an hour and it will be worse to wake up”.
After one of these nights my husband woke, stretched luxuriously, and said, “Wow! They slept through!” I threw a baby at him and said, “No, YOU slept through, and that is NOT A GOOD THING TO SAY TO ME RIGHT NOW”.
He is the best and most supportive of husbands, so perhaps I was being a tiny bit unfair but … man, that made the exhausted and stressed-out me mad.
December 4th, 2007 03:28
“Can you get me some smaller jeans? I’ve lost 25 pounds.”
“I just want some time TO MYSELF!”
“I just want to GO TO SLEEP.”
“I think you should wait until after dinner to have cookies.”
December 4th, 2007 14:11
My husband said a nicer version of #4: “I’d like to quit my job and stay home …[snip]… That sounds great”…
–but the important part is, he actually followed through, and now he stays home with our (singleton) son while I complete my required one-year internship!
[insert sheepishness] (Yes, I’m aware that I’m bragging.)
My husband now really understands about 1) sleep, and 2) showers.