The Night Weaning Chronicles
We WILL be night weaning. I suspect this will not be easy or pleasant but have I mentioned I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in 17+ months? In his ideal world J would get lifted from his bed every 2 hours to nurse then return to sleeping in his own space. In my ideal world he would sleep 12 hours in a row without needing attention. We need to find a compromise a bit closer to, say, a compromise and less closer to his ideal.
Night 1: Apropos of nothing F decided that she was going to co-sleep. When she makes that decision, which she does only about once a month, there is no point in no listening to her as she will cry unrelentingly in her own crib and fall asleep instantly in my bed. She also decided to stay up until 10:30. J went to sleep at about 8:30 and stayed that way until about 2:30 at which point he demanded attention. Brian spent about an hour getting him back to sleep sans nursing. About halfway through that ordeal F finally couldn’t stay asleep through the high pitched wailing coming from the other room and woke up. I nursed her back to sleep. She essentially self-night-weaned and already has the “put myself to sleep” skills so I’m not worried about her. If we can get him to be willing and able to put himself back to sleep sans the shrieking she’ll be fine. The both got up again at about 5:30. I put F in her crib and nursed them both down. They woke at about 8:00 AM.
Night 2: Both went to be bed with reasonable ease at 8:30. F fussed from 11 to 1; she neither wanted to be touched nor left alone. J got up at about 3:30 and it took Brian about 15 minutes to get him to go back to sleep. There was fussy noise at 6:30 that went away quickly. Both got up about 7:30.
Night 3: Both went to bed at 8:00 ish with no real fuss. It is now 7:30 AM and they are still sleeping. They both slept through the night and not some wussy “5 hours IS sleeping through the night for a baby” technicality but they didn’t get up all night. Oh, now and again I heard some minor resettling sounds but emphasis on the minor.
Night 4: J got up 3 times, twice for about 10 minutes and once for about 30. Brian dealt with him all three times. F didn’t get up. This thing wherein the non-nursing parent has to get up during the night-weaning process is a thing I am very much liking.
Night 5: Brian was away at a business conference last night so I was a little concerned how this would go. I needn’t have been. J got up at 11 and I fed him. He didn’t get up again until 8AM. F slept all night.
Night 7: Let’s not get into details here. Was J up 5 times? 7? It was not a pretty night.
Night 8: J seems to be settling into a routine. He screams to see who comes and if it is Brian he puts his head down and goes to sleep. He did this 2 or 3 times last night. Meanwhile, F had a meltdown at about 2:30 and I had to get her and nurse her. After that she didn’t get up until 7:45.
Nights 9 & 10: Well, I have to kick Brian now and again to get him to get up but all seems to be going well. I’m sleeping, at any rate, so they can’t be making noise that is very loud. Daytime nursing is unaffected by the night weaning.
Night 11: They both slept through the night
Night 12: They did NOT both sleep through the night. F was up and hysterical at about 3:00 and needed to be nursed. When she got up in the morning and I looked in her mouth the two canines just below the surface of her gums offered an explanation.
Night 13: OK, that sucked. F wouldn’t go to sleep until 10:30. J woke at about 10 and when he figured out she was up he was not having this crib nonsense any more. Both had to be nursed to sleep at that point. Then there were many wakings.
Night 14: They both slept through the night.
Stay tuned for daily updates until this either works or we give in, beaten by the toddler…
Stumble it!
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December 7th, 2007 13:55
While I’m not nursing anymore, we do have a co-sleeper in my daughter. She goes down beautifully at night, and at some point - some nights super early, others not until 5 am, she ends up in bed with us. She falls asleep instantly. Part of it is of my own laziness - spending an hour trying to get her to sleep while she likely wakes her brother too and prevents me from adequate sleep to be able to go to work is not as attractive as laying her on top of me in my bed where she promptly lays her head on my shoulder and falls asleep in 2 1/2 seconds.
Plus, she’s really cute and cuddly. But it’s every night now, where we had at some point gotten her to maybe once a week. I think she wakes up scared in the dark, and I’d rather soothe her than try other methods at this point. But the problem is - it bothers my partner more than it bothers me. I’m hoping when we switch to toddler beds this becomes a rarer occurrence, but for now I’m honestly totally ok with it.
December 7th, 2007 17:00
Stacie,
I’ll be holding a good thought for you. I hope B. is extremely committed to this, because so much of it will depend on his ability to continue trying to settle J back down. I was lucky that my kids were like F and did it on their own. My B would not have had the patience. May the force be with you.
December 7th, 2007 18:09
I’m sending sleepy thoughts your way!!
December 7th, 2007 23:13
I really hope this works quickly, and hope you’re getting lots of sleep very soon. Things are always SO much better after a good night’s sleep.
It doesn’t sound like you have any trouble with F. Why are boys always tougher? My Gavin was sleeping like a champ…he can put himself to sleep easily and he doesn’t want to eat during the night anymore. But lately he’s waking up and wanting to cuddle. Sometimes I do really well and I turn off the monitor and ignore him, like I’m supposed to do (he never really cries, just whines). Sometimes exhaustion wins out over patience and I just go get him. I’ll bet if I consistently ignored him a few nights in a row he would stop, but as you know, that’s tough with twins because you’re always worried about the other one waking up.
Based on everything I’ve read, J. should get the hint after a few nights if you and B. are consistent. (I haven’t managed to do that. I hope you have better luck!) Whenever I ignore Gavin’s whining, I try to remind myself: “I’m not being cruel…I’m teaching him a skill that he will need throughout his life. We will ALL be much happier after a good night’s rest, and this is what I need to do to get us there.” It makes me feel a little better…
December 8th, 2007 00:27
Good luck! Night weaning is really, really hard. We’ve done it one nursing at a time, and we’re down to a dream feed (which I don’t mind, nursing them right before I go to bed, why not?), and sometimes another feed around 4:00 AM (almost always for S, usually not for J). But then we did some bedtime controlled crying and I think that’s what helped us the most. I think everyone has to find the technique that they are comfortable with and then just be consistent in using it. Did I say good luck?
December 8th, 2007 01:34
Good luck, my friend. I think we’re nearing this point, too, so I’ll be watching your progress with extra interest.
December 8th, 2007 10:17
We had the same thing at the same age with Chloe. Her crib was still in our room at the time. Dh took care of it while i slept in another room. There was crying involved….i don’t know how much. It had to be done, though.
With the twins we are starting a little of this now (~6 months). Not full night weaning but they should be going at least 4 hours in a stretch at this point. But instead they have been waking every 2 hours for a little snack to settle themselves. So now i don’t feed them if it hasn’t been 4 hours. It hasn’t been too bad — only 5 minutes or so of screaming, then they fall back asleep.
December 8th, 2007 15:07
So far so good! I hope this continues to go smoothly.
December 8th, 2007 15:22
Crossing my fingers for you. These babies are tricksy little beasts…
December 8th, 2007 16:45
I just wanted to send some good luck your way as well. I second Eva — you just have to find what works for you. Best of luck and may 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep find you very soon.
December 9th, 2007 18:49
So far, sounds like it’s going really well! Big Kudos to B for doing this - it is really hard to settle a baby down without nursing!
December 9th, 2007 19:30
Good luck - it sounds like it’s going really well so I hope it continues that way! We had a fantastic night’s sleep last night and they slept in until 7 am - unheared of! Hoping that J gets with the programme sooner rather than later.
December 10th, 2007 10:38
Sounds like things are improving! I’m glad you are finding something that works for you so you can get some rest.
December 10th, 2007 13:35
Hot Dog! I hope you see continued improvement. It is so tough when you simply can not get enough sleep. Sounds like you’re doing all the right stuff.
December 11th, 2007 02:41
Good luck! It’s so hard to “teach” sleep, and it’s ironic that it is something we value so much once we become mothers!
December 11th, 2007 05:06
Am keeping my fingers crossed for you. My twins K&A are now 81/2mths and wake up at around 2.00am for a 4oz bottle feed & then at abt 5.30am…this is after supper & milk at 9pm One of the reasons I stopped b’feeding is so that they would sleep longer thru the night..or rather I would get some sleep…
Anywho as of last night I have started trying to wean them off the 5am feed… one at a time..have started with K as she is a little easier. A is now in another room..both their cribs used to be in our bedroom untill 2 mths ago.
Hope that you will get to sleep thru the night ASAP….& that I wont be far behind!
PS: I do not have a blog , am just so happy to be able to connect with you thru yours though.
December 15th, 2007 05:05
We had to wean ours to a toddler cup of milk when they woke up at night. After that it was water, and after that they didn’t wake up to drink anymore. But the first morning feeding took a looooong time to phase out. Sounds like yours are warming up to the idea pretty quickly!
December 15th, 2007 16:30
oh lord! good luck to you. I am laughing about the “see who comes and then go to sleep”. This is precisely the reason I try not to let them see me after they’ve ‘gone to bed’. If H goes to them, they are immediately back to sleep. tricky buggers.
December 17th, 2007 22:35
I am reading with renewed interest - it works some nights.
We co sleep too so the see who comes won’t work.
I don’t think I am ready nor S & J - *sigh* I read too mnay times that once night nursing ceases so does the daytime.
December 21st, 2007 08:43
Updated to night 14. Sleeping through the night is happening.