I’m sad.
I don’t know why. Nothing has happened. I’m just cooped up, maybe, or lonely. I’m hating Christmas this year, which doesn’t help. It’s just one series of chores after another. Buy this, wrap that, decorate over there and bake over here and none of it is any fun. There’s nothing that I want to do. It’s much too cold to go outside. Nothing seems worth doing. I’m just trapped and cold and bored and sad and it really really sucks.
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December 18th, 2007 00:09
The nice thing about being sad before Christmas is that the post-holiday blues won’t be such a drop.
See? That’s cheering, isn’t it! A STEADY SUPPLY of sad, rather than that distressing up-and-down stuff!
December 18th, 2007 00:09
Stacie - I just clicked on your photography site. Great Job!
December 18th, 2007 00:50
I’m sorry you’re feeling so blah. We don’t do Christmas, so I find the excessive expectation of Joy! and Cheer! to be a bit much anyway, but especially when I’m otherwise feeling down. I wish we were closer so we could get the kids together (imagine the mischief! or don’t, if you’re feeling overwhelmed) and drink hot chocolate (spiced or spiked).
December 18th, 2007 01:50
Sorry you’re feeling down. I imagine I’d feel similarly if I was at home all day just the 3 of us. I hope you get some respite from the demands of Christmas (why should this holiday be so demanding, anyway?) and the dreariness of the weather this time of year.
December 18th, 2007 02:48
Oh, I’m sorry you’re sad. Try taking the kids out to the mall, just to walk around, maybe? My girls always get a kick out of the people and the lights and the activity, and frankly, sometimes I find it helpful to parade them around and have strangers tell me how adorable they are. The twin petting-zoo effect can work to your benefit, especially as they get older and more able to interact with people.
And have you done anything for yourself for Christmas? I think you deserve something from you to you, even if it is just a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate, or some other little happy.
December 18th, 2007 05:42
hope the days get brighter Stacie and the joy that’s been sucked out of the your days to date , return before Christmas.
here is a song for you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6r1175w_lM
and another
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8
December 18th, 2007 08:55
I’m sorry you are sad, honey. Was it the Star Trek episode we watched last night?
December 18th, 2007 10:41
You could be suffering from early onset Seasonal Deficiency Syndrome (SAD) due to lack of sunshine. Try taking some Vit D tabs (although I’m not sure what the take is on Vit D when you’re breast feeding so please check first). Failing that, some good, old fashioned turkey should do the trick!
(Turkey contains an enzyme which helps the body to produce seratonin through a series of steps which are rather boring to anyone except me - all you need to know is that it works!
December 18th, 2007 11:33
I’ve been feeling the EXACT SAME WAY.
December 18th, 2007 11:47
If it helps, there’s a lovely rum-soaked fruitcake ready to ship your way! I just have to figure out how to box it so you don’t get rum-soaked crumbs.
I definitely know how you are feeling, though. My family is far away, I’m trying to figure out how to make the holiday even slightly enjoyable for a new widower. I’m so tired I have to make lists of EVERYTHING so I don’t forget stuff. I can’t really get out and about on my own because I tend to fall asleep on the benches in the mall and I don’t want to look like some crazy bag lady.
Just an exhausting holiday this year with, so far, not much fun. I am, rather disgustingly, looking forward to the three day cooking fest this weekend because I AM that strange. I guess it’s knowing that after close to 12 hours of prep and cooking, I’ll get all the compliments for a few minutes.
Do you have a Trader Joe’s nearby? See if they have their sipping chocolate. That’ll help take the edge off. Lots of hugs!
December 18th, 2007 12:02
So I just got home yesterday, and I’m leaving for California on the 26th (not my choice…). Any time in there good to visit you guys?
December 18th, 2007 12:23
I felt the same way all weekend. Christmas has felt like one big to-do list this year. And the kiddos NEED me so much that it’s exhausting. Winter is always a down time for me, but sometimes I need to feel a little down.
December 18th, 2007 12:41
Sorry you’re feeling down. I totally understand. Having toddler twins and living in the northeast is a lot of work in the wintertime. I try to get out everyday, even if it’s only for an hour or so. It does help and makes those slow days go a little faster. And really, it’s ok to be sad every now and then. If you just want to stay in and feel sad for a day or two it’s nobody’s business but your own. Hope you feel happiness again soon.
December 18th, 2007 13:09
I know exactly what you mean. Xmas is just a lot of work these days and is hard to get excited about when you’re the one doing the work.
Also, the lack of sunlight does me in. If you have a nearby botanical garden with a greenhouse, it may be helpful to go soak up some green. Alternatively, a large nursery with greenhouse works as well. Around here, I slink off to either Denver Botanical Garden or Paulino’s. I call it Plant Therapy.
Whatever you do, I hope you feel better soon!
December 18th, 2007 13:40
Yeah, is there anything worse than being frantically busy and bored at the same time? I know just how you feel. This time of year is supposed to be special, but to me it’s more work than reward.
Hang in there. This too shall pass.
December 18th, 2007 14:06
I have nothing to add except to say that I hear you, sister. I am always especially sad on Mondays after a weekend of excitement or at least help, it’s just me and two babies. staring at each other. and now that it’s cold and icy that’s pretty much all we do. sit on the sofa of infinite sadness. I usually call my husband and complain. this is why he no longer uses speaker phone
December 18th, 2007 14:42
Big sqooshy hugs and dreams of chocolate cake, girl. I hope you are feeling less melancholy soon.
December 18th, 2007 16:19
I feel the same way as you do right now. I am just feeling so sad, but can not think of any reason for me to be feeling this way. I keep telling mysef to think about how bad some people have it and to just knock it off. But, I can’t kick the feeling.
(Thanks for the ad clicks, I always click on yours too)
December 18th, 2007 18:03
Aside from the fun of manicly making toys, I could have written this. So I can offer the comfort that you are not alone, and thus not terribly insane. Just afflicted by the sickness of “being locked indoors with toddlers and to many things to do.” A super specail version of cabin fever. Sorry, *hugs* let me know if I can help!
December 18th, 2007 23:47
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. Someone mentioned seasonal affective disorder and, umm, duh. I managed to forget that I’ve been dealing with that for years. When I was teaching it didn’t bother me because I spent all day in a room with a wall of windows, sitting in the sun. I remembered also that this was the time last year that I went on Zoloft for PPD which, in retrospect, was probably PPD meets SAD.
How many days until the Solstice?
December 19th, 2007 00:00
If this doesn’t cheer you up, nothing will.
I just clicked on “Baby Diarrhea” for F&J’s college fund.
December 19th, 2007 00:37
Th solstice is only a few days away - sorry you’re feeling sad, and I hear you. I’ve been trying to get 20 minutes of sunlight outside per day - a tall order in bitterly cold Minnesota on some day - and it is helping. Hang in there.
December 19th, 2007 11:22
Just hold out until Saturday for Longest Night, then things will start to get brighter.
Or, come see me. It still gets dark at 5pm in DFW, but the days are sunny and nice. Just a thought.
December 19th, 2007 11:38
I’m in the same boat I’m afraid. Having toddler(s) to clean up after everyday kinda kills the joy of pulling out more crap for them to destroy. At least that’s how I’ve been feeling.
I hope you can take some time to slow down and enjoy the traditions that mean something to you.
December 20th, 2007 00:04
I’m already on meds for PPD but I’ve been noticing for the past couple weeks I’ve started to feel blah and anxious again. I don’t feel like I’m stressed about the holidays so I wonder what it could be.
Thanks for mentioning it…being honest.