Overwhelmed
Right now I have a husband in rehab on major medication and I have to spend 3 hours every day in the car in order to see him. Meanwhile I have made major life sacrifices to be a stay at home parent and now I hardly ever see my children. Both of my children have minor fevers. My daughter was just diagnosed with food allergies that include corn, yeast, milk and eggs. I have to relearn how to shop and eat and cook. I’m hungry all the time because I am constantly on the run from one obligation to the next and to eat this way you have to prepare meals. There are no convenience foods that don’t contain corn products. Last night I changed a green, tarry diaper at 3AM. I tried to switch from cow dairy to goat dairy and the results were quite ugly. Green. Tarry. Smelly. I nursed both kids repeatedly and brought them to the bed to cuddle in their feverish misery then returned them to their cribs so they could sleep all at 3AM. Well, 4AM too. I ended up breaking down on the floor of their room. I’m just at the wall.
Today we painted in the backyard and I have a giant toddler painting to take to Brian. Then there was lots of playing with the hose and the water sprayer. Paint leads very naturally to playing with water.
Fiona can put on her own sweater. She loves to do this. She does this over and over again. I am going to have to hide her sweaters all summer or she will be wearing 4 layers in 80 degree weather because it is just so much fun to put on your own sweater.
I was thinking a sorbet/sprinkler play date party might be in order for June. Homemade sorbet treats for the lot of us who can’t have dairy and sprinkler fun for the toddlers.
I have pictures of the kids to process to print for Brian I need to trim the edges of the giant painting. I need to sleep. I need to go to Yoga. I need a break. I need a good cry. I need some time to not be either taking care of other people or doing baseline maintenance on myself. It could be so much worse, everything is going really well with Brian and we live only a few blocks from a Whole Foods and I like to cook but I’m just really overwhelmed right now.
Stumble it!
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April 19th, 2008 22:18
Just reading about your days right now made me feel a bit anxious, so of course you are feeling overwhelmed! It has to be maddening to drive so much every day…and the whole allergy thing bites.
I can only offer internet encouragement, but if I lived nearby, I would go grocery shopping for you!
Does dark chocolate have dairy in it?! Sounds like a good place to start your stress-reducing…
April 20th, 2008 00:06
Sorry you’re going through a dark spell (though that pic of F doesn’t look dark at all, now, does it?). Hang in there. It won’t last. Good luck.
April 20th, 2008 01:42
Hugs to you Stacie.
April 20th, 2008 08:30
I know Brian wants you there. On the other hand, he’s an adult and should be able to understand that you can’t do it every single day if you also have to handle all the rest of life. If it were me, I wouldn’t even WANT Paul to spend 3 hours in the car to come see me, especially when I’d know the kids needed him more. If he DOES need you EVERY SINGLE DAY, then I guess the only thing to do is dig in the fingernails and try not to scream.
April 20th, 2008 10:24
SO sorry about the stress of having a partner in a hospital. This can be a very difficult balancing act.
Contrary to the popular literature, most scientific papers say that most people who are allergic to cow’s milk are also allergic to goat’s milk. I was really surprised when I kept seeing that, and I was employed with a company that sold a goat’s milk whey product.
There is a good magazine called “Living Without” for people with food restrictions. They also have a website and links to other online support communities. Good luck.
April 20th, 2008 13:03
What are the hotel options closer to Brian’s rehab? Could you load yourself, Grandma and the babes in the car and go live somewhere else for a few days? With the price of gas, it might even be cheaper than driving back and forth. I agree with Swistle, though. Surely Brian could make do with lots of phone calls and every other day? You cannot be everything to everybody. At some point, as hard as it is for us Type A’s, we have to let go a little.
Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.
April 20th, 2008 13:32
Well, of course you’re overwhelmed. Anyone would be. You have every right to be exhausted, frustrated, at the end of your rope, etc., etc., etc. I wish there was something I could do to help…you’re in my thoughts.
April 20th, 2008 15:15
Stacie, I’ve been off dairy, soy, corn, wheat, rye, oats, tomato, citrus, nuts, and eggs for almost a year and a half. I’m back on eggs now.(i have not been perfect, I have cheated here and there and regretted it!) I have to admit that the best side effect of having to revamp my diet for the twins is that I feel pretty damn good in spite of myself. Do yourself a favor and get some Thai brand(no additives or preservatives) premium coconut milk, some ground flax seed, and use them in place of milk and eggs in your favorite recipes. 1Tbs. flax to 3 Tbs water per egg. You can also blend coco milk with banana, berries, kiwi or melon and make a darn good milkshake. You can add a 2 tsp of gelatin in a half cup of warm water and blend with said milk and maybe some honey or agave or sugar to make a creamy and delicious dessert. Plus, nothing heals a gut like coconut!! Look it up, check it out!
April 20th, 2008 15:32
Hang in there, that sounds so exhausting.
*Hugs*
April 20th, 2008 17:58
Stacie, I hope you can find some time soon for just you. Don’t lose sight that mamas need their own time free of what other’s needs and wants. I know you’ve probably already given it thought about your daily visits to your husband but is there a way you might be able to do just every other day? I know it’s hard when your spouse is recovering from surgery and you have that urge, that need to be there with them. I hope something gives and your family, especially you, catches a break from all this chaos in your lives.
April 20th, 2008 20:05
I think you’re doing too much, but it’s hard NOT to do that given your situation. Find out what you can cut out of your life and do it. Put something in just for you. Look at my cute pictures on my blog. And understand that this, too, shall pass.
Only one of those comments was self-serving. Can you find it?
April 21st, 2008 00:31
((hugs))
be sure to ask for extra help if you can get it.
April 21st, 2008 09:34
((((hugs)))) sorry this is such a hard time for you. an hour and a half drive each way? How much longer is Brian in the hospital before he is able to come home and go in for therapy only? I’m sure he’ll love the toddler painting, trimmed or not. Try not to add extra stress to your life unnecessarily. (((hugs)))
J doesn’t have any food allergies yet? Well, that is an upside at least. And since F isn’t too picky with food it should be easy to get her diet switched once you relearn how to cook.
April 21st, 2008 16:35
Thank you all for your support. A little catch up on sleep and I feel much better. We have reason to hope that Brian will be home this week and I do plan to start doing every other day to try to get a little sanity back.
Chris — Thank you for the tips. I have some flax seed and coconut milk. I’m also trying to get a sourdough starter going so I can make bread without having to use baker’s yeast. I’ve also got some coconut oil to make smoothies for the two of us with. Mmmm. I’ll be healthy in spite of myself.
Hilary — I got a copy of that at Whole Foods. Thanks for the tip.
April 21st, 2008 20:31
Umm, yeah. It’s a lot. You are completely justified in needing a good cry and a break. Hugs!