The Twinkies

First, I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to write such detailed and helpful comments. It is so incredible to me how much time you have all taken to explain your system of bedtime and offer sympathy. Thank you.

Last night was the first night of the new bedtime policies. It was, as one could have anticipated, not well received. However, we shall slog through until the new reality has been accepted.

So… the new commandments…

1. Bedtime shall start at 7:30. (I would like it to start at 6:30 but if that were the case Brian wouldn’t get to see them all that much since that’s when he gets home from work.)
2. Bedtime shall consist of these activities, in this order, and there shall be no variation: bath; PJs; tissy; toothbrushing; two stories; rocking and kiss from Mana; few minutes of snuggling and kiss from Daddy; door shut
3. If children get up to get tissues, water or go into each other’s rooms it shall be done on the sly so the grown ups can pretend to be ignorant of the movement.
4. Screaming, screeching, wailing etc. shall be met with a visit every 10 minutes to reassure the child.
5. Loud playing shall be met with forcible returning to the appropriate bed and firm reminders to stay i bed.
6. Children can come to the grown up bed in the middle of the night for cuddles as necessary.

Wish us luck.

The third child in this picture, taken at our playdate this morning, is J’s very best friend. She is about one month younger than my twinkies and looks reasonably like them in that all blond-haired, blue-eyed 2-year-olds look alike to people who are not their parents. Because her mother and I shop in the same places they even dress alike to the point that one day, at a public play space, all three were wearing the same bright orange cotton sweater. Someone asked, quite reasonably, if they were triplets.

OK, Poker nagged me to do this and I said I would do it in the new year. It’s been a while.

Put together a movie of your children. 3 minutes max, please, and upload it someplace you can share it freely. Link to it in the comments. Deadline for entry in January 16 and voting will be from January 19-23. Winner gets a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.

If your entry is not family friendly I will delete it with no notice. If I don’t like the cut of your gib I will delete your entry with no notice. One entry per family, please. If you can figure out a way to cheat the polling software, go for it. No whining about other people cheating the polling software; if you aren’t smart enough to find loopholes don’t moan that other people are.

There is no entry fee but you are reminded to explore the many wonderful products Google displays for you via their ads. Exploration is a good thing. Vast exploration even better.

Now, go make a home movie.

Let me start by saying that unless you have toddler twins, or have had them in recent memory, I am not interested in your advice. It astonishes me sometimes how people who don’t experience, and have never experienced, anything like multiples seem to feel that their experience or wisdom is relevant. It’s usually not. I don’t harp a lot on how twins are so much more difficult than single children but every now and then I am out with only one child and the difference is astonishing. With only one toddler you can do errands. You can take the child out for breakfast. You can take time to play and explore. With two toddlers grocery shopping, for example, is a parenting Waterloo. It is a battle, the crux of all battles, and you are going to lose. With two toddlers taking them out to eat is an exercise in damage control. With two toddlers you have to keep both moving and happy and that usually precludes time to leisurely explore the world as while one is examining the great wonder of the crack in the sidewalk the other thinks the crack in the middle of the street looks pretty good. And while you are snatching the second child back from the road the first is trying to eat something she found in the snow. Two toddlers is just different and until you do it day in and day out you really can’t understand that what worked for one may just not work with the twin dynamic.

J still is not sleeping through the night. And, to make matters worse, he is resisting bedtime with vigor and volume. The night before last he screamed bloody murder so Brian lay down with him in his own bed. No good. He screamed hysterically for me. Finally, Brian, who had a fever and was basically miserable, stayed in J’s bed while J AND F migrated to “the mommy bed” and began to wail there. I law down with them at 9PM and 2 hours later they were finally asleep.

At about 2:30 J woke up again and was most pokey. I asked if he wanted to go sleep alone and he said yes so I put him in F’s bed (as Brian, laden with plague, was in J’s bed.) No dice. He walked himself to his own bed and got in with Daddy then started screaming bloody murder for me again though this time he stopped after about 5 minutes. That’s right. I put him in a bed alone, as requested. He didn’t like that one so went to the one he wanted. Then he started screeching that he wasn’t with me WHICH WAS WHERE HE WAS BEFORE HE DECIDED HE WANTED TO LEAVE.

Aren’t toddlers grand?

J is just a light sleeper is my basic guess. Some people are heavy sleepers. He is a light sleeper. And he is anxious. This I see in life; he is slow to warm up to new things and gets scared of them easily. The combination is not doing well for his sleep. Meanwhile F, who sleeps very soundly, is, I am guessing, jealous of the attention J is getting at night so she is fighting sleep to get some one-on-one time at bedtime too.

One-on-one time is a bit of a premium in our house.

Last night was some variations on the theme. General consensus from parents with other toddlers that I know in real life is “developmental spurt – ride it out”. However, if you have, or had recently, toddler twins and you have sleep issues I would love to hear what you are doing, or not doing.

My toddlers fought this morning over who got to use the child sized mop to mop the dining room.