The Twinkies

The whole ride home from the library involved high pitched screaming interlaced with “I don’t WANT you. When we get home I’m going to KICK you!”

Which he did, by the way.

Nap shall be mandatory today.

Also, teenage girls should have to spend time with 3-year-old boys as a scare tactic birth control.

Seriously. Like I need the guilt. I am supposed to keep a clean house, make nutritious meals out of organic, local food, do laundry, do dishes, make sure everyone not only has clean socks but enough socks, pants, shirts, PJs etc., stay on a budget, structure enriching and creative activities, not let the kids watch TV, avoid plastics, make sure toys encourage open play, not let marketers at my kids (see: avoid TV), keep up correspondence, maintain adult friendships, maintain marriage, teach kids to say please and thank you, moderate squabbles, establish desirable behaviors, potty train, teach healthy anger management (i.e. – don’t throw tantrums when you don’t get to sit in the car seat you prefer) make sure children and self leave home clean and reasonably groomed (i.e. brush hair, wipe noses), teach sharing all while building a business during a recession because (duh) no one is hiring teachers this year. And I’m supposed to savor playing doll house or puzzles at the same time? Truly, I wouldn’t enjoy playing trains even if I had nothing else to do. And when playing trains can go on for what feels like hours and be speckled with a child who gets hysterical if I do one thing a way he doesn’t like I, frankly, don’t like it at all. And I am getting awfully tired of being told that THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is to savor this time and to play with your children because YOU WILL MISS THIS AND YOU WILL GO TO YOUR GRAVE REGRETTING ALL THAT TIME YOU SPENT WILLFULLY TALKING TO OTHER ADULTS, EARNING MONEY OR FOLDING LAUNDRY.

Seriously. How many hours a day am I supposed to engage in active, interactive play? How much time qualifies as “savoring” this time enough to be able to indulge in selfish, personal endeavors like a job or an adult conversation without having the guilt harpies screech “You aren’t CHERISHING this special time and when your children won’t talk to you and have joined a gang to sell meth you’ll only be able to wish you’d spent more time playing with them!!!”

Me: Everybody needs to go potty.

Fiona: I already went poo poo in my pants.

I don’t want you to be James’ Mama. You’re my girl, Mama.” – Fiona.

7:00: Rise and Shine

7:00 – 8:30: Breakfast, Getting Dressed, Packing Backpacks

8:30: Drive to Camp

8:45: Camp Drop Off. James very concerned whether the “Pink Girl” will be there. Pink Girl is a rather sullen looking counselor-in-training who wears a lot of pink and is willing to talk about baseball with James. She’s also stunning, or would be if she stood up straight and looked less constipated.

8:50 – 10:30: Update blog posts on business blog. By the time I am done I have three posts set to fire today, Friday and next Monday. I also add a few pictures to the galleries.

10:30 – 10:45: Buy blueberries for jam, strawberries for snack and sushi for lunch.

11:00: Camp pick up.

11:15 – 12:00: Lunch. James eats PB&J, Fiona slices of ham. Not a sandwich, just the meat, please. Also, strawberries.

12:00 – 1:15: “Quiet Time.” In lieu of naps, which are a battle which I cannot win, I have begun “quiet time”. Today it was spent in front of the TV watching Charlotte’s Web. I start working on canning, throw dinner in the crock pot and toss in a load of laundry.

1:15 – 3:00: Play time. Balls are tossed. Train tracks are arranged. Fiona does some mysterious thing on the porch. I only have to intervene every 5 – 10 minutes. I finish the canning and have 10 jars of blueberry lavender jam* and 4 jars of mint jelly to show for my labors. Also, some mint jelly that I overcooked into apple-mint candy. Don’t boil jelly long enough and it doesn’t gel. Boil it too long and it turns into candy. It was pretty decent candy though. It’s been years since I made candy but thinking of jelly as undercooked candy helped me get the timing better. Don’t get to the soft ball stage. The candy thermometer helped, as did the freezer test. Fiona helps me put the sticker labels on the jars.

3:00 – 3:15: Picture time. I plan to order a photo bag and want current, close up pictures. I think I have decided on this one for Fiona.

3:15 – 4:00: Children’s Museum. It’s a dump, totally broke, but the kids love it and we’re members so admission is free. Also, there is a 4-hole putt-putt course out back.

4:00 – 5:30: Wait for Daddy. The kids eat the rest of the strawberries for a snack in the backyard. I note that, yes, I will be pickling again this weekend. Tricycles are ridden in the front. They pick up toys inside and I empty the dishwasher and move a laundry load to the dryer.

5:30: Daddy arrives. There is much rejoicing. Playtime for all.

6:15: I put the rolls in the over and start setting the table.

6:30: Dinner. I make Brian taste the blueberry jam. He is a fan.

6:45: 15 more minutes of Charlotte’s Web in lieu of dessert. Meanwhile, I do the dishes, roll the tablecloth into a ball and toss in the laundry pile and sweep the floor.

7:00: Bath. Fiona announces she is tired. James insists he is not but falls over his own feet on the way towards the stairs. I process pictures from earlier today and get the one’s of Fiona posted.

8:00: The Fiona pictures are done. I am loathe to start the James pictures. I am, in fact, totally lacking in motivation so I finish this post with the thought of maybe taking a bath, reading a novel and going to bed early. I should work on Jeff’s pictures but I think I will do a better job tomorrow AM when I am fresh. I do need to answer a few emails before I crash.

* Make regular blueberry jam but tie 2TBS of lavender into a cheesecloth sachet for every 3 cups of berries. Toss sachet when done unless you are some really weird person who wants to keep a boiled, purple mess of cheesecloth.