The kids need me. They love playing with Grammy but they don’t understand what is going on. Their father disappeared. Their mother takes off for long hours at a time. When I come home they both, but especially F, cling to me. She wants to nurse non-stop and be held and carried around.
Brian needs me. He’s tired, in pain and woozy from the drugs.
They’re 90 minutes apart.
Things that have come out…
All that is left is a hep-lock. He’s been moved to oxycontin which is a long acting oral narcotic. He is likely moving to a rehab center tomorrow. Healing continues.
Me (Each hour from 6AM to 9PM is represented by 10 words.)
Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep. Kids are up. Nurse. Change diapers. Clean poop off floor. Get kids dressed. Breakfast. Laundry. Make homemade muffins. Nurse. Owie. Rescue remedy. Nurse. Nurse. Laundry. Share garden violets with Lizzie. The kids fascinated by her baby. Run dishwasher. Clean up pee. Rash looks better. Nurse. Laundry. Oh shit. J’s lovey is filthy. Read stories. Nurse. Sort mail. Lunch. Take pictures. Kids nap. Print pictures. Kids to mother. Gas. Get food. Drive. Drive drive drive. Eat. Drive drive drive drive drive drive. Get to hospital. Show Brian pictures of kids. Talk to Brian. Sit with Brian. Sit and read Sunday newspaper. Sit and read gardening magazine. Sit and sit and sit and sit and sit and sit. Eat dinner. Read New Yorker. Talk to Brian’s parents and Aunt. Sit. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive. Drive drive drive drive drive traffic drive drive. Home. Nurse.
Brian
He was much improved when I got to the hospital today. He had managed to walk across the room and out into the hall with the physical therapist and his appetite had improved. He was very touched by the e-wishes people sent (and you can send one HERE to Brian Berry in room 2-186). He is having trouble getting rest as the hospital nurses and staff are in his room poking him with one thing or another. He was running a fever later in the afternoon which worries me.
Today Brian managed to stand up, sit upright in a chair for over an hour and take a few steps with a walker. He is rating his resting pain as a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. Of course, he is on so much morphine he can’t focus his eyes.
He had a full scan this morning and everything looks great. One of his nerves had been compressed by the wonky vertebrae to a small fraction of the size it should be but when the pressure was removed it plumped back up within the hour. This is, apparently, unusual but great news as it means he will be able to regain all the strength in his left leg.
He has been moved out of the ICU.
I am freakishly tired from driving 90+ minutes each way to and from the hospital each day but that it so be expected. Other than the fact Brian’s life is going to be a giant suck-fest of pain for the next few weeks, it is all good news.
Click HERE to send e-wishes. (Brian Berry, room 2-186)
12:15 EDT Brian is in surgery. They are putting the screws into his spine and in the words of the nurse his “is doing very very well.”
2:30 EDT They are done with the screws and have begun the decompression procedure. It should be a couple more hours.
4:45 EDT They are done with the decompression and are doing the bone graft. Right now they are estimating he will be out of surgery around 6:30 though the scrub nurse will call me at 5:30 to give me an updated ETA. He is still doing fine.
5:45 EDT They are closing. Everything is fine and he is doing fine. Because it is a major incision it will take about an hour to close after which he will be moved to either a recovery room or (more likely) ICU. The surgeon will come give us an in person summation at that point and once the nurses get him cleaned up we should be able to see him.
7:00 EDT Still waiting
7:15 EDT: He is out of surgery. The two lumbar disks are totally gone (L2 and L3) and the vertebrae have been stabilized using some cage like thingy. All the bulging is gone. He’s quite sure there is no nerve damage. He only had 300 ccs of blood loss (which is very good) and didn’t need any transfusions. He did well. He’ll be in ICU recovering and hopefully they’ll be able to take him off the ventilator shortly. The MD will be back to take us to the ICU once Brian is all set up.
Moment of weirdness: after the doctor came, delivered his news and left my right boob leaked milk. I haven’t felt engorged all day, which I did when we spent the whole day here (and a shorter day at that) for tests but I have apparently have some milk ready to go.
I will update more as I have more information.
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Donate to the Zoë and Lennox Simpson Memorial Fund
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LLL Breastfeeding Helpline - US Call 1-877-4 LALECHE (1-877-452-5324) for 24 hour toll-free breastfeeding helpline services.
Need Milk? Have milk to donate? Contact the Mother's Milk Bank of New England or a milk bank in your area.
St. Paul hit the nail on the head when he said, To the pure all things are pure, but to the impure nothing is pure (Ti 1:15). It is a tragically impure world that labels the purity of a baby at the breast as "gross." For those with the purity to see it, a nursing mother is one of the most precious, most beautiful, and most holy of all possible images of woman. (source)
(The MUST HAVE breastfeeding guide for multiple moms)
