The Twinkies

F announced “poopy” after her bath, went and sat on her potty and peed in it.

The poop filled her diaper. It overflowed up and down her pants. I removed the diaper - a pull up, of course - and she stepped in it, thus taking out her socks. She sat on my lap, getting my pants. Her shirt got stuck to her back, and it got covered in poop as well. She got poop on her hand then patted my hair and shirt with said filthy hand. I should have just hosed her off.

After this I sat them both on their potties. J peed a wee bit in the potty (a first) and I took it away along with the pile of laundry and the diaper from hell. After respectively cleaning, putting in laundry and tossing those things I brought the potty back out and J, still naked from the waist down, looked at it and peed a TREMENDOUS amount right next to it. I tried to move the potty to at least catch some of the stream to no avail.

Fun times.

F peed in the potty today. She tugged at her diaper and announced “poo poo”, sat on the potty while her father read “Once Upon a Potty” to her several times, and peed!

F is getting very talky. Last night she said “circle”. Most of the time I can’t understand her but when she repeats words back to me or context makes it obvious I realize that she is talking English with a very heavy baby accent but English nonetheless.

One poop forward and two poops back on the potty training. We were doing some bare butt time yesterday afternoon and J was standing on a chair watching workers put a fence up in our backyard when I saw he had a big chunk of poop hanging out. I cleaned that up and tried to convince him to sit on the potty. Not interested. F sat down to show him and he hovered over the potty for about .3 seconds then moved on. OK. Then he pooped on the floor. A substantial poop. And stepped in it. And tracked it around.

It’s the glamour of motherhood that really appeals to me.

Afterwards I decided that I wanted him to have SOMETHING about his middle as he stood at the glass storm door and looked out at the world but he was very clear that he didn’t want pants. So I put him in a skirt. I can add “James, put your skirt back on” to the list of things I never thought I would say. No, there are no photos.

I just finished reading a terrifying book on marketing to children, Consuming Kids, that has really solidified my “no media” stance. I recommend it. I keep meaning to write a whole post updating my no media position and I’m sure I’ll get around to it sometime. You know, like before they graduate from college with degrees in communication.

I never know what to call the kids’ morning program. Is it school? Day care? 12 hours a week is a pretty dreadful day care because you certainly couldn’t get a job that would slot into that time but it feels silly to call what 1 1/2 year olds do “school.” They are learning things, however. F is now very good at putting her own coat on and this morning I watched her pull her own boots off, pull her socks off and then tuck each sock into a boot. They carry their bowls of snack to their little table and sit to eat. OK, so it isn’t “my kid can read at 7 months!!!” It’s age appropriate developmental stuff. I mean, I think they are brilliant of course but I’m not bullying them into being performing oddballs. That would take far too much energy.

They turned 21 months yesterday. It’s getting time to plan their second birthday party. I was thinking something like this. Or maybe just (gluten free) cupcakes and a wading pool in the backyard.

Today J tugged at his pants trying to get them down. After I helped him take them off he sat on the potty and, after a rousing rendition of Once Upon a Potty he pooped in the potty.